Deviant Beauty
by horseaholic
Summary: During and post Rent. Right after Roger and Mimi have their fight during Without You, Roger meets Mimi's fellow dancer, Shay, and it follows their life together after Mimi's death. There is no sequel, I'm leaving it up to your guys' own imaginations.
1. Chapter 1

Standard disclaimers apply. I only own the movie soundtrack, the Original Broadway Cast Recording, and my own imagination!!

As usual, I can't seem to think up a good title. But I looked up 'deviant' online and it means 'markedly different from an accepted norm', so I guess that would fit the Bohemians and their families, eh? Markedly different from the accepted norm... society... yeah, it works. I'm keeping it.

"Mimi, I'm leaving, chica," Shay Milano said, poking her head into Mimi's dressing room. "Can you tell Adam?"

Mimi turned around in her chair and looked over at Shay. "OK, chica," she said, smiling at Shay. "I'll see you tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah, you will," Shay said. She noticed the look on Mimi's face. "Hey, are you OK?"

"No," Mimi said, "it's Roger. I… we… we had a fight."

"Aw," Shay said, and she went into the room and sat down in a chair next to the pretty Latina and put her hand on Mimi's. "But you two have spats like this all the time, don't you?"

"No, you don't understand," Mimi said, closing her eyes and standing up. She walked away and crossed her arms over her chest. "This was a big fight. We… we broke up."

"What?" Shay asked, looking over at her, surprised. "You did? Why?"

"He wanted to get me off the smack, and since I wouldn't, he left me. He said that he couldn't protect me from it anymore, and that we were over."

"Oh, chica, I'm sorry," Shay said. "Can I do anything?"

"No, but thanks," Mimi said. "He also found out about Benny and me."

Shay was surprised. "Oh, boy," she said nervously. "That can't have gone over well with him."

"No, it didn't," Mimi said, shaking her head. "But it was before I met him. Why should he be mad at me for that?"

Shay considered that for a moment. "Well," she began, "look at all the shit Benny's done to them in the past couple of years. You can't blame Roger for being mad at you for getting together with the one man he hates. OK, not the only man he hates," Shay changed her mind mid-thought, "but Mimi, chica, he's married."

"I know he's married!" Mimi exclaimed, glaring at Shay. "I thought you were leaving?"

Shay was surprised at Mimi's abruptness. "I was," she said. "Mimi, don't yell at me, please. I'm just trying to help."

Mimi sighed and put her head in her hands. "I know," she said. "I'm sorry. I'm just so stressed about this. But you're young, chica." She looked up at Shay. "You shouldn't have to worry about me so much."

"I'm only six months younger than you!" Shay protested, laughing.

Mimi laughed, too. "I'll see you tomorrow, OK?"

"Yeah, all right," Shay said, and she forced Mimi to accept one of her bone-crushing hugs.

"If Roger's out there, tell him I don't want to see him," Mimi said, looking over at Shay, who was at the door.

Shay sighed inaudibly. "OK, I will," she said. "Bye, Mimi."

Shay waved to Mimi as she went out the door, closing it behind herself. She had only walked a few feet when she saw Roger walk in. He saw her and went over to her.

"Hi," he said, "I'm Roger."

Shay crossed her arms over her chest and frowned at him. "I know who you are," she said firmly. "Mimi doesn't want to see you."

"Why not?" Roger asked, confused and annoyed.

"Because you broke up with her, that's why," Shay snapped, glaring at him through her forest green eyes. "Roger, what are you doing here? Why are you coming around after _you _broke up with _her_?"

"What are you, twelve?" Roger snapped, looking down at her. "The reason I'm here is none of your concern."

"But it _is _my concern, Roger," Shay said. "Mimi's my friend, my partner, and you hurt her. And I'm 18, for your information. Now get out of here, before I call the cops on you for stalking her." She gave him a fierce look, daring him to argue.

"I live, like, three blocks away!" Roger exclaimed angrily. "Just because I come by to visit— and maybe _apologize_— doesn't mean I'm stalking her! God, did she put her up to this?"

"Yes," Shay said, looking over his shoulder as she saw a black Range Rover pull up. "You'd better go, Roger, before Benny thinks about kicking your ass, too."

Roger turned around just as Benny walked into the club. Shay watched as the two men locked eyes, hatred etched in their faces. Before any action could break out, Shay walked away. As Benny knocked and went in to Mimi's dressing room, after saying a few words to her, Shay heard Roger following her. She picked up her speed once she got outside, hearing him yell after her, and she soon had lost him the maze of Alphabet City.

Benny knocked on the dressing room door and waited. A second later, he heard Mimi yell.

"Roger, I don't want to see you!"

Benny leaned against the door and sighed. "Mimi, it's Benny," he said. "Can I come in?"

He waited again and the door opened. "Hi," he said, looking down at her. "Can I come in?"

Mimi shrugged. "Sure," she said, and he followed her into the room. She went over to the chair and sat down in it again. She wiped her eyes, trying to fight back tears. Benny put a hand on her shoulder.

"Mimi, I'm sorry," he said. "What we did… it shouldn't have happened. I'm sorry I came between you and Roger. That was wrong of me."

Mimi nodded and pulled her legs up to her chest. "Yeah, it was," she said. "But it was my fault, too. I knew better, just as you did. We both screwed up."

Benny looked down at her, concerned. "So we can just be friends and pretend it never happened?"

Mimi glared at him. "No, Benny, we can't just pretend it never happened," she said angrily. "Because of you and what you did, and partly because of what I did, I lost the love of my life. I don't know when I'll see him again."

Benny nodded. "Well, I'm still sorry. I can't say anything else to make up for it. Do you want me to talk to him?"

"No," Mimi said. "You two can't seem to be in the same room together without starting a fight, verbal or physical. You two hate each other. Nothing can change that, because of all the shit you put them through in the past couple of years. Just leave me alone from now on, OK?"

Benny sighed. "OK," he said, and he turned to leave. "Bye, Mimi."

Mimi didn't say anything in reply and Benny left.

Adam is their manager. Sorry, I couldn't resist, LOL. Don't forget to review. I'll put up chapter 2 soon, probably by tomorrow.

Until next time, lots of love,

Renthead07


	2. Those Forest Green Eyes

_Two months later…_

Roger checked the address again that he had gotten from the phonebook. He was going to find Shay, if it's the last thing he did. He knew she didn't live far from the loft, which is why he was now standing on the front steps of a small apartment. He raised his fist and knocked. A few moments later, he jumped slightly as the door opened.

"Roger?" Shay asked. "What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you," Roger said. Shay shook her head and started to close the door on him, but he blocked it with his hand, preventing it from closing. "Shay, please, hear me out. It's about Mimi."

Shay sighed and relented. "All right, come in. It's freezing out anyway."

Roger smiled gratefully and stepped inside. He looked around, curious. "So this is your place, huh?" he asked.

Shay frowned. "That wasn't what you came to talk to me about," she said. "Don't change the subject. What about Mimi?"

Roger swallowed and looked down at her. "You need to know," he said. "She died a few weeks ago."

Shay's eyes widened and she started to hyperventilate. She sank into the nearest chair and Roger sat down in a chair across from her. "Oh my God," she said, "she did?" Roger nodded solemnly. "How? When?"

"Christmas Eve, she overdosed," Roger said. "Shay, I'm so sorry. I should have told you sooner. But we— I mean, the Bohemians and I— we had funeral arrangements to make, and I… well… I was really bad. I couldn't function for a long time. It hit me really hard that she was gone, too. She died in my arms, right there in the loft." He looked at her, concerned. "Are you gonna be OK?"

Shay nodded shakily, as a little boy came out into the living room. Roger's eyebrows rose. He couldn't have been more than three. Shay was only 18...

The little boy came over to Shay and she picked him up.

"Hey, baby boy," she said. "Did you have a nice nap?"

The little boy nodded and smiled, as he snuggled close to her. "Who's that, Mommy?" he asked.

"This is Roger, a friend of Mommy's," Shay said. "Roger, this is my son, Noah. He's two-and-a-half. Say hi to Roger, Noah."

Noah smiled and waved. "Hi," he said.

"Hi, Noah," Roger replied. Roger looked at her sympathetically. "It must be hard." he said.

"It was for a while," Shay said. "My boyfriend at the time got out of paying child support. I don't know how, but he did. My parents kicked me out after I had him, too. Luckily, I got a job at the Cat Scratch Club, which, while it's exploitive, pays really well. I model during the day, too."

"For what company?" Roger asked.

"Calvin Klein," she answered. "My agent is great. He's always finding new modeling opportunities for me, inside and outside CK. After I got that job, money was no longer a problem. I even set up a trust fund for Noah, for when he goes to college. But he won't be able to touch a cent of it until he's 18."

"That's great," Roger said. "You're doing better in life than me, anyway."

Shay looked up at him. "What do you mean?" she asked.

"I do gigs wherever I can, but it doesn't bring in much," Roger said. "That's the life of the struggling musician for you."

"I'm sorry, Roger," Shay said. "Are you doing OK, about Mimi, I mean?"

Roger shrugged. "I'm getting by," he said. "I knew I would lose her eventually, so while I didn't like it, I didn't deny it, either. It's missing her that's been the hardest."

"You must have loved her very much."

Roger nodded. "I did," he said. "But now she's no longer sick and is up there wreaking havoc with Angel right now." He smiled.

Shay smiled. "I'd like to see that," she said. "She talked about you and the other Bohemians quite often, you know."

Roger nodded. "I bet," he said. "Well, I'd better get going, Shay." He smiled at her. "Thanks for seeing me."

"You're welcome, Roger," Shay said, and she saw him to the door. "I guess I'll, um, see you around?"

"You will," Roger said.

"Say goodbye to Roger, Noah," Shay said.

"Bye, bye, Roger," Noah said.

Roger grinned. "See you, kiddo," he said, and he turned and left.

* * *

"Roger, what are you still doing up?" Mark asked, coming out of his room into the living room, where Roger was sitting by the window. "It's three A.M."

Roger looked over at him. "I couldn't sleep," he said. "I was thinking."

Mark sat down next to him. "What are you thinking about?" he asked. "Mimi?"

Roger shook his head. "No, I was actually thinking about her partner, Shay."

Mark was surprised. "Really," he asked, "who's she?"

"She's a beautiful young woman, about Mimi's age," Roger replied. "She's got this thick black hair and these eyes… oh man, Mark… her eyes are amazing. She's a dancer with Mimi… or she was, anyway. She's also a model at Calvin Klein."

"Well, cool," Mark said. He gave Roger a concerned look. "But don't you think you're taking this a little too fast? I mean, Mimi's only been gone for two months… I would have thought…"

"You would have thought what, Mark?" Roger asked, looking down at him.

"Well… that you would take… longer to… you know… move on."

Roger frowned. "Look, Mark, ever since even before Mimi started getting really sick again, you and the other Bohos have been telling me, 'prepare yourself, prepare yourself.' Then, once she did die, you were all, 'Move on, move on, she was gonna die soon, anyway.' What do you want me to do, Mark? Sulk for the rest of my life in my own self-pity?"

"No, I don't want that," Mark said. "I'm just concerned that you're, you know, maybe using Shay as a rebound relationship, to hide how you really feel about Mimi dying."

Roger scowled. "You know, ever since Maureen, you haven't been able to get a girl, not one, so don't go telling me how to live my love life, OK? If you're jealous, you could just admit it."

"I'm not jealous!" Mark yelled. "I'm just looking out for you, so you don't do something stupid and screw up!"

"Yeah, well, don't, OK?" Roger yelled. "I'm a grown man. I don't need you watching out for me all the time."

Without another word, he stormed out of the loft.

Chapter 3 will be up ASAP. I have two hell days of school to get through, and then I'm gonna be gone until June 10th, so I will not be updating from May 25-June 10. Sorry. OK, so there is a SLIM possibility I'll be updating, since we're bringing my stepdad's laptop along; but I think its only use is going to be charging my Mp3 player. I don't know. I'll try, I really will.

Don't forget to review.

Until next time, lots of love,

Renthead07


	3. A Chance

Roger walked down the streets of Alphabet City. He didn't know where he was going. He just knew he was going somewhere. That 'somewhere' was wherever his feet wanted to take him. About ten minutes later, he looked up and realized his feet had brought him to Shay's apartment on Avenue B. Roger swallowed nervously and inhaled a deep breath. Then he went up to the door and knocked.

A blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl answered the door. She looked to be somewhat older than Shay. "Can I help you?" she asked.

"Is Shay around?" Roger asked. "I'm Roger Davis, a friend of hers."

"No, she left for work already," said the woman. "I'm Lena. I take care of Noah when Shay has to stay out really late at the club. Why don't you come in?"

"No, that's OK," Roger politely declined, shaking his head. "I'll just stop by the Cat Scratch Club and talk to her. Thanks, Lena."

Lena smiled. "OK," she said. "Bye, Roger."

Roger gave her a polite nod and turned around and left.

* * *

Roger walked into the Cat Scratch Club and scanned the vicinity for Shay. She wasn't on the stage, so he figured she was backstage. He waited until the security guard was distracted, and then he quickly went backstage. Shay jumped when she saw him.

"Roger," she said, "you're not supposed to be back here."

"I know," he whispered, "but I had to see you again."

"Look, I appreciate you telling me about Mimi and everything, but…" she began, but Roger cut her off.

"Shay, please," Roger said, "I like you. I like you a lot. Can you at least give me a chance?"

Shay looked up at him. "You do?" she asked.

"Yeah," Roger said, looking down at her, "I do." He smiled down at her. "Please, Shay, just give me one chance." He caressed her cheek with his thumb. "I want to get to know you."

Shay looked at him again. "And you're sure you aren't… you know… just rebounding off me from Mimi?" she asked.

Roger shook his head. "Positive," he said, smiling at her. "But I really did only come here to watch a certain show that happens to have a friend of mine in it, so I'd better get going back to my seat, before the security guard comes after me."

Shay laughed. "OK, I'll see you afterward, tiger," she said.

Roger grinned. "You will," he said, and he went out.

* * *

"Wow, I haven't been that… exhilarated in weeks," Roger joked, as he and Shay walked, hand in hand, back to her apartment.

Shay laughed. "So what do you want to do this weekend?" she asked, looking up at him.

"Well, how about you and Noah and I go on a date together?" he asked. "It could be a family thing."

Shay smiled appreciatively. "That sounds great," she said. "We could have dinner together at the Life Café."

"Sure," Roger said, as they went up the front steps and stopped at the door. He leaned down to kiss her.

Shay smiled again. "Thanks," she said. "I appreciate that. So I'll see you tomorrow at six? We can meet at the café."

"Sure," Roger said, smiling at her. "Bye, Shay."

"Bye, Roger," Shay said, and Roger's heart sped up as he watched her go inside.

* * *

"Mark, you are not gonna believe what I'm doing tomorrow," Roger said excitedly, coming into the loft.

Mark looked up from fiddling with his camera, as always. "What?" he asked. "I thought you were mad at me."

Roger shrugged. "I'm over it," he said. "I've got a date with Shay."

Mark smiled. "That's great, Roger," he said. "I'm happy for you."

Roger smiled down at him. "Thanks," he said. "You know what?"

Mark looked up at him. "What?" he asked cautiously.

"Shay's got a babysitter for her little boy that stays at her house whenever she's out late at the Cat Scratch Club," Roger began, but Mark talked over him.

"No, Rog, I don't wanna go out with her," Mark said immediately.

"And she'd appreciate, you know, having some company sometimes…" Roger continued, teasing Mark with his tone of voice. "You really should introduce yourself."

"No thanks, Roger," Mark said. "I'm happy just as I am."

"Uh huh, sure," Roger muttered, rolling his eyes. "If you don't do it, I will."

Mark sighed. He could see there was no way around this. "OK, all right, I'll introduce myself," he said. "Just not at your date tomorrow, if that's what you were thinking."

"No," Roger said, laughing, "the date is just the three of us tomorrow. But I'll put in a good word for you."

Mark smiled. "Thanks, Roger," he said. "Come on, let's crash. It's late. Take your AZT before you go to bed."

"OK, thanks. Good night, Mark," Roger said, and the two friends parted ways.


	4. Chapter 4

I'm sorry this is so short, but it's all I have for now. And I know I said Lena and Mark would get together and Lena and Shay would be better explained in this chapter, but that's not happening, either. I promise it will happen in chapter 5, though, once all the Bohemians find out about Roger and Shay, OK? Enjoy what I've got for you, because this is my last update for this story until June 10th!

"I'm not sure I can do this," Roger said, as he stopped walking, a few feet away from the Life Café entrance.

"Roger, stop it," Maureen said. "You told Shay you'd be there and you're gonna be. Don't make me drag you. Now come on, you put the little boy's hopes up."

Roger nodded. "I did, didn't I?" he asked her. Maureen nodded, raising a brow. "OK, all right, I'm going."

Roger smiled at Maureen before walking into the Life Café. He looked around for a moment, and then he saw Shay and Noah waving at him from their table. He went over to them and sat down.

"Hi," he said to the two of them.

"Hi," Shay and Noah replied.

"How are you two tonight?" Roger asked, looking over at them.

"Good," they replied.

"So what do you want to order?" Roger asked, trying to get past his awkwardness of being with Shay again.

"Oh, let's wait to order," Shay said, smiling. "We can get to know you a little better."

Roger swallowed and nodded. "OK," he said, and the waiter that had come over left courteously. "Well, um, what do you want to know? Or I should say," he changed his mind, "what do you not already know from Mimi?"

"Well, she said you played guitar and that you were in the middle of writing a song," Shay said. "Did you ever finish it?"

"Yeah," Roger said, "but only, like, a week before she died."

Shay nodded. "I'm sorry," she said. "But at least she got to hear it, right?"

Roger smiled and nodded as well. "Yeah," he said, "anything else?"

* * *

Over the next hour or so, Roger was surprised. With Shay, he never seemed to run out of things to say. Eventually, he got over his nervousness, because she was so easy-going, and they talked and ate together until Noah was done eating and starting to get tired.

"Hey, baby boy," Shay said, "we'd better get you home and to bed. It's almost your bedtime. OK?"

"OK," Noah said, and Shay picked him up. "Check, please," she added to the waiter.

"Oh… no, Shay, you don't have to," Roger said uncomfortably, looking down at her.

Shay shook her head. "It's fine," she said. She looked up at him. "You can pay next time."

"Yeah, but…" Roger began, but Shay gave him a look and he relented. "All right, I'll pay next time. Thanks, then."

Shay smiled and Roger's knees wobbled. "You're welcome," she said, and they walked out of the café. When they got back to Shay's apartment, Roger went in with her and she got Noah in his pajamas and ready for bed. Just when Shay was going to close the door and leave the room with Roger, Noah got out of bed and went up to them.

"Roger?" he asked.

"Yeah, kiddo?" Roger asked, crouching down to look at the little boy.

"Can you read me a bedtime story?" he asked.

"Sure, kiddo," Roger said, smiling at him and then at Shay, who was looking surprised. "Which one do you want me to read to you?"

Noah went over to his bookshelf on one of his walls and scanned the books for a moment. Then he picked one out. "This one," he said, smiling at Roger.

"Ooh, _Goldilocks_," Roger said, "one of my favorites from when I was your age." He looked up at Shay and grinned. "OK, let's read it."

Roger began to read it, and Shay watched as the little boy's eyes drooped and began to close. Within the first few pages of the book, Noah was fast asleep. Roger slipped off the bed and carefully tucked the covers around the boy's body and walked out of the room with Shay, both of them holding hands. Roger followed Shay out into the living room and sat down on the couch with her.

"So Roger," she began, "do you wanna, um, stay a while?" Shay asked, looking up at him, as she caressed his chest with her finger and moved closer. She leaned up, about to kiss him—

Then she pulled away, looking confused. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't have—"

"No, it's OK," Roger said, and before she could protest, he pulled her into a kiss. Shay was hesitant for a moment, but then she melted into him. He deepened the kiss and his hand found its way to her shirt. But before he could do anything, she pulled away again. "Did I do something wrong?" he asked.

"No," Shay said, "it's just… I think we're moving into this too fast. I mean, I don't know what Noah would say if he knew… if he could understand… his dad left right after he was born… he could almost think…" Her voice trailed off.

"He could almost think what, Shay?" Roger asked, looking into her eyes.

"Well… that you were his father."

Roger's eyebrows rose. "Really?" he asked. "Why would he think that?"

Shay shrugged. "I don't know," she said, "maybe because he's only ever seen one picture of his dad?"

Roger shook his head. "He knows," he said. "I won't ever try to replace his father, you know."

Shay nodded. "I know you won't," she said. "I can tell he wishes you were, though."

"He wishes I was his dad?" Roger asked curiously.

"Yeah," Shay said. "I mean, he's obviously too young to understand the concept of marriage and divorce and all, but…"

"Then we'll take it slower," Roger promised her.

Shay looked up at him. "Really?" she asked.

"I would never hurt you, Shay," Roger said. "If I did, once I'm gone, Mimi will kick my ass."

Shay smiled. "Thank you, Roger," she said.

"You're welcome, Shay," he said, kissing her on the forehead.

Shay got up and looked back at him. "I'm heading off to bed," she said. "Thanks for the wonderful time at the café tonight."

"You're so welcome," Roger said, smiling up at her. "I'd best be getting home anyway. Mark will be worried."

"OK," Shay said. "So when do we tell them? All your Bohemian friends, I mean?"

Roger shrugged and stood up as well. "Whenever you want," he said. "Just don't kill me if I spill early, OK? It'd be an accident."

Shay smiled. "I understand what you mean," she said. "OK, I'll see you tomorrow, then."

"You will," Roger said, and he headed toward the door. "Bye, Shay."

"Bye, Roger," Shay said, and after she went in her bedroom, he left.

Don't forget to review. Thanks. See y'all June 10th!

Until next time, lots of love,

Renthead07


	5. Rock Star Matchmaker

I know it's short. Sorry. I have to give my best friend, Madeline, credit for co-writing it with me while she was at my house a couple weeks ago, LOL. Thanks, bud, you know you rock! Enjoy!

"So, this is who you've been running off with every night, instead of coming with us to get drunk," Maureen said, a few weeks later, getting up to shake Shay's hand. Noah and Lena filed into the room after Shay and Roger.

"Yeah," Roger said, smiling at Shay and his friends. "Everyone, this is Shay Milano. She was Mimi's dance partner at the Cat Scratch Club before… before she died." Roger looked at Shay. "And this is her son, Noah." Roger motioned at Noah. "Noah, Shay, this is Mark, Collins, Maureen, and Joanne. Stay away from Collins, though; he hasn't had sex in nearly four months." Roger ducked as Collins aimed a swipe at his head.

"Hey, careful, there are young, virgin ears here," Shay scolded him playfully. Roger laughed.

Roger noticed that Mark's gaze was focused on Lena, and he realized that he had forgotten to introduce her. He snuck up behind Mark and gave him a push, hard enough to make him stumble up to in front of Lena. She looked up at him, a bit surprised and confused, as Roger, Shay, and the Bohemians choked back their laughs.

"Um, hi," Mark stammered. "I'm, um, Mark. I'm Mark."

Mark blushed as he heard the Bohemians laughing at him under their breath, but Lena didn't seem phased. "I'm Lena," she said, "I baby sit Noah, as I think you already know." Lena looked over Mark's shoulder at Shay and smiled.

"Well, um, it was nice to, um, meet you," Mark faltered.

"It was nice to meet you, too, Mark," Lena said, smiling at him. Then she went over to Noah and Shay.

Mark walked over to Roger and turned and looked at him helplessly. "Well, that was beyond awkward," he muttered. "This was your idea."

Roger smiled. "It'll come with time," he said. "Just give her a chance."

"Hey, it was your fault I nearly plowed into her!" Mark hissed.

Roger chuckled. "Quit being paranoid," he said. "You two will get along fine. You're both quiet and slightly awkward. It'll work out great."

Mark rolled his eyes. "Thanks," he said sarcastically.

"You're so welcome," Roger said, grinning, and they went to join the group.

* * *

A little while later, Lena said she was gonna take Noah home, so before she could leave, Mark pulled her aside.

"Lena," he said, "can I talk to you for a second?"

"Sure," Lena said, and she sent Noah over to Shay. "What's up?"

"Well, I was wondering… I like you, Lena," Mark said, less hesitantly than he had before. "Would you like to, you know, go on a date sometime, just us?"

"Sure," Lena said again, smiling at him. "When do you want to?"

"Um, I don't know," Mark said. "Maybe next weekend, when Shay's not working, so you're, um, off-duty?"

Lena nodded. "OK," she said, smiling up at him. Mark's knees wobbled, but he forced himself to stand up. Lena's eyes were beautiful. They were a dark blue, like the ocean, completely contrasting with her long, platinum-blonde hair. Mark couldn't resist them.

"Thanks," Mark said, smiling at her, and they went back to the group.

* * *

Roger came out into the living room the following night and found Mark sitting on the window seat, looking distant. "Mark?" he asked.

Mark jumped. "Oh. Hey, Rog," he said. "What are you doing up?"

"I could ask the same of you," Roger pointed out. "What's up?"

"I'm thinking," Mark said.

"What are you thinking about?" Roger asked. "Lena?"

"Yeah," Mark said. "Roger, do you really think she's right for me?"

"I can't tell you that, Mark," Roger said. "But you've asked her out on a date, right?"

"Yeah," Mark said hesitantly.

Roger realized what Mark meant. "You're regretting it?" he asked.

"I don't know, Rog," Mark said, shrugging and pulling his knees up to his chest. "I'm pretty confused. I mean, after Maureen, can you blame me?"

"Well, I'm sorry you're confused," Roger said. "But you can either give her a chance"— he raised one hand in a weighing motion— "or you can tell her you've changed your mind and that you're sorry, but thank you for the opportunity." He lifted his hands up and down. "I say you give her a chance and see what she's like, away from Shay and Noah. You might be surprised."

Mark nodded. "You're right," he said. "I should give her a chance. I just don't want to hurt her."

Roger smiled. "You won't," he said. "You never did with Maureen. That was always her fault. You two are both pretty quiet, but that's OK. Compared to the Bohos, she'll be a nice change for you." Roger looked down at him. "But who's gonna film your special moments together? Maureen?"

"God, no!" Mark exclaimed, laughing. "I'll figure something out. Thanks for listening, Roger. I think I'm gonna head back to bed. I'll see you in the morning, OK?"

"OK. Goodnight, Mark," Roger said, looking over at him.

"Goodnight, Roger," Mark said, smiling at Roger, before he closed his bedroom door.

I hope you readers enjoy Mark and Lena's first date, which will be in the next chapter. I'm laughing as I write it. I'll update ASAP, depending on how good the wireless internet signals are at the hotels (it's weak here in Virginia), or wherever we are, and whether I'm busy or not. I'll try, really, I will.

Don't forget to review.

Until next time, lots of love,

Renthead07


	6. Chapter 6

Mwahahahahaha, I know, I'm evil. Read on to find out, LOL.

Mark looked around the café on Friday evening, looking for Lena. He was a few minutes early, so he wasn't sure if he should expect to see her or not. He got a table for two and sat down and waited for her.

A few minutes later, Lena walked into the café. Mark got up to meet her at the door. "Hi," he said, walking up to her. To the waiter, he added, "She's with me."

The waiter nodded and brought out two menus for them. Mark looked at the menu for a few moments before looking up at Lena and speaking. "So where are Shay and Roger tonight?" he asked her.

"They're with Roger for the night," Lena answered. "I'm off-duty, remember?"

Mark smiled awkwardly and nodded, but his heart was sinking.

_Great, Cohen, nice move, _he thought bitterly. _The first words that come out of your mouth are you're wondering what the best friends are doing without you. Think of something about her; her eyes, her smile, something! Come on, pick a feature!_

"Lena," Mark began, chewing on his lip, "you're very… beautiful."

"Mm, thanks," Lena said, smiling at him. "You're pretty cute yourself."

_Nice recovery._

"So what do you think you're gonna have?" she asked.

Mark sighed inaudibly. _Great, now we're on the menu. _"I think I'm gonna have the walleye," he said, "with chips on the side and a lemonade. How about you?"

"Oh, I dunno," Lena said. "I'll probably have the chicken alfredo. It sounds really good."

"Cool," Mark said, and he returned to his awkward isolation. This was not going well. He wondered why Lena wasn't already walking out on him.

They got their food and mostly ate in silence, except for a few awkward sentences spoken. Mark paid for the meal and they walked out together. They weren't far from Lena's apartment when Mark suddenly got a thought. "Lena?" he asked.

Lena turned around. "Yes, Mark?" she asked.

"Can I take you somewhere else?" he asked, trying not to sound as nervous and desperate as he felt. "It's, um, a surprise, and it can't wait." He attempted a smile, but it came out as a nervous grimace.

Lena looked interested, though, like she was willing to give him a chance. "Sure," she said, "where is this surprise?"

Mark smiled more strongly, now that he really had her attention after their disastrous dinner. "You'll see," he said, holding out his hand for her to take. He looked down at her. "Do you trust me?" he asked.

Lena nodded and took his hand. "Yes," she said, and they walked away together.

* * *

At Tompkin Square Park, Mark stopped walking, a few feet away from his destination. "Close your eyes, Lena," he said.

"Close my eyes?" Lena asked curiously.

"Yes," Mark said, smiling at her, "go on, close them."

Lena chuckled and closed her eyes. Mark took her hands in his and led her into the park and to a bridge, beneath which was a beautiful pond. Lena let out a nervous laugh, hearing the sound of the water below them. "Mark?" she asked.

Mark squeezed her hands encouragingly. "It's OK," he assured her. "You trust me, right?"

Lena nodded, her eyes still closed. "I trust you," she said.

Mark led her to the middle of the bridge and stopped her there. He led her over to the rail and placed her hands on it. "Mark, where are we?" she asked.

Mark smiled at her. "OK, open your eyes and see," he said.

Lena did and she gasped with surprise. There was a full moon hovering above the trees beyond, and ducks and other waterfowl were swimming around and feeding in the pond, what little of it was melted away on the warmer-than-usual January day.

"What do you think?" Mark asked. "Isn't this great?"

Lena nodded, her hands over her mouth. "It is beautiful," she said, taking her hands away and nodding. "Thank you for bringing me here." She hugged him, giving her thanks, but Mark didn't pull away. Instead, he put his arms around her waist and they leaned their heads together. Lena sighed contentedly and Mark smiled, as they watched the activity below.

"So does this, um, make up for dinner?" Mark asked her.

Lena chuckled, looking up at him through her deep blue eyes. "It wasn't that bad, Mark," she said. "Believe me, I've had worse dates. You were just nervous, that's all."

Mark smiled at her. "Yeah, I was," he admitted, laughing. "Were you?"

"A little," Lena admitted, "but we got through it, right?"

"Right," Mark said, and he looked at the pond again, making a flourishing motion with his hand. "Thank you, ducks and geese."

Lena laughed and stepped closer to him. He turned and looked down at her, and he leaned in to kiss her. Their lips met and he was surprised to feel feelings there for him, that he hadn't been sure he would find. He deepened the kiss and then they parted.

"Thanks," Lena said quietly, as Mark caressed her face and tucked a lock of blonde hair behind her ear.

Mark smiled. "You're welcome," he said. He wasn't quite ready to tell her that the last girl he had kissed had eventually left him for a lesbian. "So are you ready to go back home now?"

"Yeah, I guess," Lena said. "It's quiet here, though. It's really nice, compared to the busy city and the village."

Mark nodded. "I know. We'll come back someday soon," he promised her.

"OK," Lena said, smiling up at him. She laid her head on his chest and he put his arm around her waist, as they walked back to her apartment.

"So do you believe in second chances and, um, better dinners?" Mark asked her, looking down at her.

"Yes, I do," Lena said, smiling at him. "Only I get to pick next time." Mark could tell by her smile that she was teasing.

"You can," he said, and after seeing her inside, he walked back to the loft.

Don't forget to review. Next chapter may not be up for a couple of days. I'll have to see.

Until next time, lots of love,

Renthead07


	7. Chapter 7

"So how was your date with Lena?" Roger asked, catching up with Mark, as they made their way to their respective bedrooms.

"Huh?" Mark looked up. "Oh. It was OK. The dinner was, um…"

"A complete fiasco?" Roger guessed, trying not to smile.

Mark nodded. "Yeah, it was," he said. "The one thing I thought of to say— OK, no, two things— were that I was wondering what you, Shay, and Noah were doing, since she was off-duty and I said she was beautiful."

Roger cringed at the first remark, but he smiled at the second. "Nice recovery," he said, looking down at Mark.

"I know," Mark said. "That's what I thought, too. Then I took her to Tompkin Square Park, to that pond and bridge, you know?"

Roger nodded. "Good," he said.

"Uh huh," Mark said, nodding. "She liked it and I apologized for being an idiot at dinner, and…"

"And?" Roger asked, his interest piqued.

"And we kissed."

Roger grinned. "Aw," he said, "that's great, Mark. What else?"

"I asked her if she was willing to go out with me again, so I could make up for it, and she said yes. She wants to go back to the bridge. It completes that quiet serenity I like about her so much."

"Great," Roger said. "So do you want some pointers?"

Mark looked up, surprised. The man whom he had been taking care of for years was suddenly trying to take care of him.

"Um, sure," he said, "but they had been not involve sex."

"They won't," Roger assured him. "I'll let you figure _that _out on your own. Anyway, you should show her your films."

"My films?" Mark asked, looking up at him. "But Roger—"

"You said you want her to know the real you," Roger continued, talking over him, "and I think that's the best way to do it."

Mark looked up at him. "Even some of my old stuff?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

Roger now realized what he was talking about, and the conversation suddenly became more strained. Roger's face darkened.

"Yeah," he said, "even some of your old stuff— me and April, me and Mimi, whatever."

"OK," Mark said, reassured.

"You _didn't _throw them away, did you?"

"No. I couldn't. Even if they _were _shitty, it was still how I became who I am today."

Roger nodded. "OK," he said, "so show her it. She'll enjoy it. Shay and Noah and I will stay at her place tonight, out of your way."

"OK," Mark said, smiling up at Roger. "Thanks, Roger. I'm glad you have pointers for me."

Roger smiled, patting him on the back. "You're welcome," he said.

"Hey, Rog, can I ask you something?"

"Sure, Mark, what's up?"

"Are you sure Shay's comfortable with you, um, you know, staying overnight? I mean, it's only been a few months."

Roger shrugged. "If she's not, I'll just crash at Jo's for a while," he said. "She can call me in the morning."

Mark nodded and smiled. "I think that's a good plan," he said.

Roger smiled. "I know."

* * *

A few days later, Mark called Lena to let her know he was on his way. "Are you ready?" he asked. "I'm picking you up."

Lena laughed. That, she had recently figured out, usually meant they were walking somewhere, probably to one of his surprises. "Yep, I am," she said. "So what surprise am I in for this time?"

"You'll see," Mark said, laughing, and they hung up after they finished talking.

"So what's the surprise?" Lena asked eagerly, as she met Mark outside the building.

"You'll have to wait and see," Mark said, smiling at her, as they went into the building.

Lena laughed as they made their way up to the loft. "So am I gonna have to close my eyes again?"

Mark laughed. "No, I don't think so," he said. "Let me just check something. I'll be right back, OK?"

"OK," Lena said, and she waited patiently as he ducked inside for a moment. Then he came back out and took her hand.

"OK, nothing's burning down yet," he joked, and they walked in together.

Lena gasped with surprise as she took in the romantic scene. Her eyes widened. "Wow, Mark," she said, looking around, "this is beautiful. How did you find time to do all this?"

"I have all the time in the world for you, Lena," Mark said romantically, and he leaned down to kiss her.

Lena laid her head on his chest as they slowly walked into the main living area, where Mark had lit lots of candles and put them around the living area. It was warm, but not hot; it was pleasant. Mark swallowed nervously, feeling his heart beating fast. But he forced himself to relax, thinking to himself that there was nothing to be nervous about around Lena this time. He smiled at her.

"What's there to eat?" Lena asked, looking over at him.

"Sausage pizza," Mark answered, opening the box on the table. "Shay told me it was your favorite."

"It is," Lena said, smiling at him. "Thanks, Mark."

Mark felt himself hit a dead spot in his conversation, so he looked at her again, hoping for inspiration. "It was my pleasure. Let's eat," he said quickly. Lena nodded and they began to eat.

"So tell me about you, Mark," Lena said.

Mark looked at her from where he had been about to take a bite. "Um," he said, "I dunno… I'm a filmmaker. I usually make films about my Bohemian friends and homeless people around the village. Some of them don't like it, either; I've been threatened too many times to count. There was this woman once, I call her Blanket Lady; she started cussing at me, saying 'her life was not to be used for me to make a name for myself to kill my guilt.' It was a little scary."

"I bet," Lena said, smiling.

"But Angel was with, so she helped the situation," Mark went on. "No one could dislike Angel."

"Tell me about her," Lena said.

"Well, she was actually a he," Mark said. Lena looked surprised. "Angel was a transvestite. I call transgender people by their preferred gender, or the one they, um, believe themselves to be, or prefer to act like. She liked to dress in drag, she was a drag queen. She was flawless and had the best attitude in the world, living with such a tragic illness. She taught us 'no day but today'."

"I wish I could have met her," Lena said, smiling.

"Yeah, I wish you could have, too," Mark said, smiling at her. "She was actually Collins' lover."

Lena nodded. "He was a lucky man, then," she said.

"Yeah, he was." Mark smiled at Lena. "Angel died on Halloween, 1990, her favorite holiday." After a slightly awkward pause, he asked, "So, are you still hungry?"

"No, I ate enough, but thank you," Lena said. "What's next, your surprise?"

"Yep," Mark said, and they cleaned up from their supper. Mark blew out one of the candles and Lena blew out another. He gave her a mischievous look, and soon, they had a game going, trying to blow out as many as possible before the other. They came to the last one together, and before Lena could blow it out, Mark pulled her into a kiss. Then he snuffed it out with his free hand.

Lena pulled away from his mouth, a playful smile on her face. "Hey," she said, laughing, "that's not fair."

Mark grinned and they went over to the couch, and Mark slid a reel into the projector and turned it on.

"What reel is this?" Lena asked.

"It's 'Today 4 U', my movie," Mark replied. "It's the one that 'gave me a name.'" He smiled at her.

"Oh, OK," Lena said, and they watched it. Mark also put in a film of Roger and April, explaining more about Roger's rough past to Lena.

* * *

Mark didn't realize he had fallen asleep until he woke up sometime later to Lena's head on his shoulder. She looked so peaceful he didn't dare move and wake her, even though his arm was numb. So he just closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and fell asleep again beside her.

OK, so I haven't had internet access for almost five days now, and the high-speed internet signal here is very low on my stepdad's laptop. Is it really called high-speed when there's hardly any or no signal? Depending how frequently the signal goes out, I may or may not update. I've got three chapters resting safely in FFN's Document Manager for now, though, so I'll post them up immediately, in order to hold you readers off until I get home late Sunday night.

Don't forget to review.

Until next time, lots of love,

Renthead07


	8. Don't Want to Be Alone Tonight

This is pretty much just a drabble chapter, I guess. Extremely short (probably my shortest chapter ever written, Rent or not, LOL), but please review anyway. Next chapter will be posted up soon.

Shay came out of Noah's bedroom that night, after putting him to bed. Roger looked at her curiously.

"Did he go down easily?" he asked.

"Yeah," Shay said, smiling at him. "He usually does, unless he's sick or something."

Roger nodded. "He's a good boy," he said.

Shay smiled. "Yeah, he sure is," she agreed. "So what do you want to do?"

"I don't know," Roger said. "We could put a movie in or something?"

"Sure," Shay said. "As long as we keep it down, he shouldn't wake up."

"OK, so no _Rocky Horror Picture Shows _or _Silence of the Lambs_," Roger joked.

"God, no," Shay laughed. "Even I can't watch _Silence _in broad daylight."

Roger chuckled. "OK," he said. "So what would you like?"

"Um, how about The Wizard of Oz?" Shay suggested awkwardly. "It's… nice and quiet."

Roger laughed. "Sure, why not?" he said. "Ozheads unite."

"That's right," Shay said, laughing, and they put in the movie.

* * *

Dorothy wasn't even leaving Munchkinland when Roger noticed Shay was nodding off. He put one arm under her knees and the other around her neck, and he carried her into her bedroom, which was right by Noah's.

Shay stirred when he set her in her bed. He quietly made to leave, but before he could take a step, he felt her hand on his. Roger stopped walking and looked down at her.

"Please stay," she whispered. Roger realized it was not a question. It was a request.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yes," Shay said.

"But won't Noah…?"

"He doesn't have to know." Her voice was soft, but firm.

Roger's eyebrows rose with surprise. He didn't know what to say. He watched Shay quietly for a few moments, and then she spoke again.

"Please... I don't want to be alone tonight."

There. That confirmed it. He wasn't going to Joanne's after all.

Roger sighed. "Well, OK," he said, and he climbed in next to her. He snuggled close to her and put his arm around her, and together, they both fell asleep.

Don't forget to review. Sorry it was so short. Next chapter will make up for that. It's normal-length.

Until next time, lots of love,

Renthead07


	9. A Birthday and a Confrontation

"What took you so long?" Mark demanded, as Roger walked into the loft. "It's two in the afternoon."

"What's your point?" Roger asked, looking down at him.

"I'm just wondering why you took so long to get home, that's all," Mark said defensively, crossing his arms over his chest. "I called Mo and she said you never showed. What the hell happened to you?"

"I stayed with Shay," Roger said firmly, scowling at him. "We put Noah to bed and started to watch a movie, but she was tired, so I took her to her bed. I could have left right there, and I was going to, but she said she didn't want to be alone." He gave Mark a withering look. "She's been alone every night for almost three years, Mark. Her high school boyfriend ditched her after he got her pregnant, and due to his rich daddy pulling some strings, he got out of paying child support. I'm not gonna hurt her like that, even if I do stay out past curfew." He smirked at Mark. "And in case you're curious, I had breakfast with them, and then Noah wanted to go to the park. I couldn't turn him down. He's so fun to play with."

"You really love that kid, don't you?" Mark asked, smiling at him.

"Yeah, I do," Roger said, smiling down at him. "He's a great kid. He's really good to his mom, especially when she has to work so hard all day to support herself and him. Shay's negative, though, so that makes their life easier. She's never done drugs, either, like Mimi did." He looked at Mark. "So now I get to ask what you and Lena did all night."

"We watched 'Today 4 U' and a couple other short films," Mark answered. "Then we both fell asleep, too."

Roger grinned. "I guess we both wear our girls out, eh?" he asked. Mark nodded. "Did she enjoy 'Today 4 U'?"

Mark nodded again. "Yeah," he said. "She wishes she could have met Angel."

Roger nodded. "Yeah," he said, "they both missed out. It's too bad."

"It is," Mark said, nodding.

"So what are you and Lena planning on doing next, since you're an item now?"

"I don't know," Mark said. "I think I'm gonna take her to Tompkin Square Park again and have a picnic or something. It's starting to get warmer, so I think she'll enjoy it more."

Roger nodded. "It sounds good," he said. "And unless you two want to be alone, could we go together? It might be fun."

"Sure," Mark said, "that would be great. I'm sure Noah would love that."

"Then he could meet you, if he hasn't already," Roger said.

Mark nodded. "No, he hasn't yet. But I'm sure Shay's already told him about me."

Roger shrugged. "Come anyway."

Mark laughed. "Hey," he said, pointing at Roger, "it was my idea."

"Right," Roger said, laughing.

* * *

"Roger, push me higher!" Noah yelled, as Roger pushed him on the swing in the park.

"OK, I will, buddy," Roger said, laughing, and he pushed the little boy on the swing higher. "Is that good?"

"Yes," Noah said, and Roger stood silently for a few moments. Shay came over to Roger and they put their arms around each other. Noah looked around for his absent pusher and he spotted his mother. He waved to her and smiled.

"Hey, sweetie, are you hungry yet?" Shay asked him.

"Yeah," Noah said. "Roger, can you stop me?"

"Sure, kiddo," Roger said. He waited until Noah had swung backward again, and then he grabbed the sides of the swing. As he pulled Noah to a stop, he skidded along the ground, making braking noises to go along with it. Noah let out aloud, gleeful squeal of delight.

Shay laughed as Roger and Noah came back to a stop beside her. Roger took him out of the swing and carried him over to the picnic blanket where the food was. They all sat down and began to eat together.

"Roger, are you gonna marry my mommy?" Noah asked suddenly, in between bites of his peanut butter sandwich. He looked up at Roger.

Roger choked on his chicken. As he dissolved into a coughing fit, Shay thumped him on the back. He emerged from it a few long seconds later, his face red and his eyes streaming.

"Am I gonna what?" he asked, quite sure he'd misheard Noah.

"Marry my mommy," Noah repeated, taking another bite of his sandwich.

"I— um— I dunno, kiddo," Roger stammered, sending Shay a helpless look, as Mark and Lena looked on, speechless. "Isn't it a little early to be thinking about that? I mean, your mom and I have only been together for about three months. Um…" He leaned over and whispered in Shay's ear. "_Help me!_"

But Shay was looking as lost as he was.

"Honey," she stammered, "that's a very, um, personal question to ask. Can Roger— can he, um— get back to you on that some other time?"

Noah shrugged, seemingly put out. "Sure," he said, and he went back to his sandwich.

Shay and Roger looked at each other. What were they going to do now?

* * *

Later that evening, Roger and Shay went back to her apartment. Shay distracted Noah with a movie, and then she put her head in her hands and went to the kitchen.

Roger could see she was extremely stressed out from what Noah had said earlier. "Shay, are you OK?" he asked.

Shay hugged herself and spoke to him without turning around. "I was wondering when he was going to start asking about that," she said quietly.

"I thought you said—"

"I know what I said!" Shay snapped. "I guess I was wrong. I guess I, um, hoped he didn't understand…"

"You don't want to get married?" Roger asked, looking down at her. "I'm not saying right now, this instant— just eventually." Shay looked up at him, her eyes troubled. "But only if and when you want. If that's never, then that's what I'll have to live with."

"I couldn't do that to you," Shay said quietly, her voice a whisper.

"It's OK, Baby," Roger assured her, shaking his head. "I would understand."

"Really?" Shay asked. Roger nodded. "You're so sweet, Baby."

"Shay, I love you," Roger said, looking down at her. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I don't care how long I have to wait for that to happen."

Shay looked up at him. He'd said it, that he loved her. She knew she wasn't required to say it back, like in those cheesy romantic movies.

"OK, well, can I— can I think about it for a while?" she asked, looking up at him.

"Sure," Roger said, caressing her cheek. "You can think about it. When you're ready, let me know. But I'm not gonna do it just because our sweet little boy asked me to. Sure, that's part of it, but I'm gonna wait until you say you're ready, and I'm gonna do it right, OK?"

Shay smiled, her tension seemingly less. "OK. Thanks, Roger." She gave him an appreciative smile.

"No problem, Baby," Roger said, and he put his arm around her. "Now what do you say to going in there and watching the movie with your beautiful boy until he falls asleep, huh?"

Shay nodded. "I say we go for it," she said, and they went in to watch the movie with Noah.

* * *

"Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday, dear Noah. Happy Birthday to you."

It was April 12th, and the Bohemians, Shay, and Roger were celebrating Noah's third birthday at Shay's apartment. Noah's face was alight and he hadn't stopped grinning since he'd woken up that morning.

"Happy Birthday, buddy," Shay said, kissing his blonde hair lovingly. As Joanne brought out the cake, she gasped theatrically. "Ooh, look what Joanne has for you!"

"Cake!" Noah said happily.

"Yeah, that's right, buddy, cake," Shay said, laughing. She looked at Joanne. "Mo didn't try to bake that, did she?"

"No," Joanne said, laughing, "I did. I was nervous about letting her handle a little boy's cae, so she let me do it." Joanne smiled up at Maureen, who was leaning over her shoulders.

Shay nodded. "I see," she said, and she lit the candles. "Make a wish and blow out the candles, buddy."

Noah closed his eyes and thought about it for a moment, before he opened his eyes and blew out the candles. The Bohemians clapped and cheered for him and Noah laughed.

* * *

A few minutes after everyone had finished their first pieces, there was a knock on the door. "Hang tight, guys, I'll get that," Shay said, smiling at them, and she walked out of the dining room. She went up to the front door and pulled it open. Her blood ran cold when she realized who it was.

"Carter," she whispered, "what are you doing here?"

"I came by to wish my boy a Happy Birthday," he said. "What did you think I was doing here?"

"You shouldn't be here," Shay said. "You have no right to be here. In three years, you've never called, never sent an E-mail or a postcard or letter… Why the hell would you show your face here after all these years, especially on his birthday?" She glared at him. "You even got your slimy father to get you out of fucking paying child support! You are an immature bastard, Carter Snow, and I am not letting you see him."

She made to close the door, but he stopped it with his foot. "Look," he said, "how much do I owe you for child support?"

Shay didn't even have to think about that one. She'd been calculating it since the day Noah was born. "236 a month for three years, so about 4,000."

"Mommy?" Noah asked, coming to the door. "Who is that?"

"He's just a friend, sweetie," Shay said, in a bright, fake voice. She gave Carter a private nasty look that silently stated he clearly _wasn't _a friend. Shay watched Carter's reaction carefully; a shocked look was coming over his face, as he glimpsed his son for the first time. "He can only stay a few minutes, though, so go back and play with your aunts and uncles, OK? I'll be back in a minute."

"OK," Noah said, and he ran off after Shay ruffled his hair. Roger came out into the entryway as Noah went back in.

"Who're you?" he asked Carter.

"I'm Carter Snow," he answered. "I'm Noah's father." He gave Roger a fierce look.

Roger only mirrored him ten times worse. "Shay doesn't want Noah to see you," he said. "Now get off her property before I call the police."

"You can't do that," Carter said. "I'm his father. I should get visitation rights."

"Not when you left me after _you _got _me _drunk and knocked up!" Shay exclaimed.

"Shay, I'll pay you—"

"No," she said abruptly. "I don't want your money. I have plenty of my own, which I _earned_, Carter, rather than inheriting it from a lousy parent. I have a life now, a boyfriend— a true, wonderful man who loves me and doesn't use me. I have a son I have to care for. We don't need you, so you can just tell your father to stick it."

Without another word, Shay slammed the door in his face and went back to her son and the Bohemians. But that night, just before he left to go back to the loft after bidding Shay goodnight, Roger heard her cry herself to sleep.

I hope you liked it. I'll update ASAP!

Don't forget to review.

Until next time, lots of love,

Renthead07


	10. Confessions With Her Protector

The next morning, Roger went back to Shay's apartment. He rang the doorbell and Noah answered.

"Roger!" he squealed, and he jumped into Roger's arms.

Roger laughed. "Hiya, kiddo," he said, grinning. "How are you doing? Do you feel three yet?"

"Not really," Noah said.

Roger smiled. "Is your mom still around, or is Lena here?"

"Mommy's upstairs," Noah said. "Lena comes at eight."

Roger nodded. "Oh, OK," he said, and he walked up the stairs after setting Noah down. Noah walked beside him. "Shay?" he called.

"Carter, I told you," she yelled, "you can't be here!" She flung open the door. "I—"

"Shay, it's me," Roger said, before she could accidentally yell at him more. He looked down at her small frame. "Are you OK?"

Shay nodded. "I'm fine," she said, though Roger knew she wasn't. He could see she had put on a lot of make-up to hide her tear-stained cheeks and the circles under her eyes, in an attempt to deny that something really was wrong.

"Shay, talk to me," Roger pleaded with her. "You shouldn't hide your pain from me. I can't let you leave when you're like this. That's not who I am. I protect people, especially the women in my life, and it hurts me when I can't, especially when she won't let me. Please don't push me away."

He looked deep into her forest-green eyes that drove his heart crazy so much. He took her into his arms and held her close. It took a moment, but then she broke down and cried. Roger rocked her back and forth, burying his face in her sweet-smelling hair. He heard the doorbell ring and he looked up.

"That's Lena," Noah said. "It's eight o'clock."

"Well, then, I guess you'd better go answer it, buddy," Roger said to him, smiling down at the boy.

"OK," Noah said, and he turned and went down the stairs.

"Shay, listen to me," Roger said quietly. Shay looked up at him. "Call your boss at CK and tell him or her that you had a personal emergency and that you can't come in until this afternoon— or at all, depending on how long you think you need to settle down. Then go wash off your make-up, dress down, and come with me. We'll worry about the Cat Scratch Club later."

Shay looked up at him again. "Really?" she asked.

"Really," he said, smiling at her.

"Thanks, Roger," she said, smiling at him, and she went to go make the call. As she was doing so, Roger went downstairs to talk to Lena.

"Hey, Lena," he said.

"Hi, Roger," she replied. "Has Shay left yet?"

"No, but she's about to," Roger said. "Actually, she's not going to work today. She was pretty upset about Carter yesterday, so I said she should spend part of the day, or the entire day, with me to settle down." He smiled down at Lena.

"Aw, you're so sweet," Lena said, smiling at him. "You're so good to her, Roger. You may not know how much she appreciates it."

"I know," Roger said, smiling. "But I can't help it. It's who I am."

"Roger, I'm ready," Shay said, coming down the stairs.

"Hey, Baby, you look great," Roger said. "No wonder you're a model and a strip dancer."

Shay laughed. "Thanks for saying that right in front of the child, Baby," Shay said. "Hey, Lena," she added, as Roger laughed. Noah ran up to Lena and hugged her. "Thanks for watching Noah today. I guess I probably never tell you that enough."

"It's fine, Shay, and you're welcome," Lena said, smiling at her. "You need a break. I understand."

"Yeah, sorry about the meltdown," Shay said. "You two are awesome."

"It's _OK_," Roger and Lena said together.

"Now go have fun, you two," Lena said. "I'm gonna take this guy with me, and we're gonna have a fun time with Mark, aren't we, buddy?" she asked.

"Yeah," he said.

"See you, um, I guess later, buddy," Shay said, kissing Noah on the cheek before leaving with Roger.

* * *

Shay and Roger walked through Tompkin Square Park together, holding hands, that afternoon. Roger could tell she was both physically and emotionally better after having spent the day with him. They sat down on a bench and Shay lay against Roger's chest, as he caressed her back with his fingers.

"Are you better now?" he asked, looking down at her.

"Yes," Shay said, "thank you. I'm glad you convinced Carter to leave me alone and that I should take off work today. I did really need a break, even though I love my work; my modeling job, that is. I'm only in the stripping business for the money it makes."

"You deserve a break," Roger said, smiling at her. He noticed Shay was rather quiet. "Is something wrong?"

"Roger," Shay began, "I never told you what Carter did to me when we were together in high school, did I?"

"No, you didn't," Roger said cautiously. He pulled her close to him. "Tell me whatever you want."

Shay's face clouded as she relived the memories. "We started going out in junior high," she began. "Carter was an eighth grader and I was in seventh grade. My parents adamantly advised against it, because of his father's history, but they eventually let me go out with him, after weeks of begging. At first, when I said or did the wrong thing, he would just get impatient. But after about three months, when we would fight, he would grab me and hit me. I didn't tell anybody, though, because I was popular being with him, and I was afraid that, if I did tell anyone, he would know and would come down on me harder." She looked down, ashamed, and tears fell from her eyes. "I know, stupid, right?"

"No," Roger said, "you didn't know any different."

Shay nodded. "I guess not," she said. "I got pregnant right after my freshman year of high school ended. It was a stupid one-night stand at an illegal party I never should have been at with him. My parents were furious with me about it, since a cop had to drop me off at home, and after they found out I was pregnant, they threw me out. A week or so after I was thrown out, I told Carter. I was already seven months along by that time. He hit me so bad, I went into premature labor. Luckily, somebody found me and took me to the hospital, where they got it stopped and I was treated and released. I lied to the hospital staff about my injuries, saying I'd fallen, and they didn't question me.

"My parents sent me to a home for unwed mothers after that, and I gave birth with only a few women staff members with me. But I felt all alone. After I saw Noah, I knew I couldn't give him up. So I lived with relatives in the Bronx until I was 18. The day I turned 18 that fall, I secretly got a job at the Cat Scratch Club at night, and it supported Noah and I enough that I didn't have to live off my relatives anymore. That's where I met Mimi and found out all about you, because you were all that she talked about. Luckily, I finished my schooling at the alternative high school and got my GED.

"The manager of CK here was at the Cat Scratch Club one night— out with his friends for a night of partying, I guess— and he saw me perform and offered me a modeling job on the spot. I must have gotten a lucky card that day, because a few weeks later, Lena told me she'd gotten a job at the local community center's daycare, so she could watch Noah for me, even though he was only a few months old. Since all the thanks she's gotten from me is a check, dinner sometimes, and an actual 'thank you', I've been a really shitty friend and mother. I wish I could have done better. Noah deserves Lena for a mother, not me." Shay wiped the tears from her eyes and looked away from Roger.

"Shay, you're doing the best you can," Roger said, looking down at her. "Noah's such a good boy, because of both you and Lena's teamwork. I can see why you're best friends. You're so close because of your struggles."

Shay nodded. "Yeah, we are," she agreed. "That's a good theory."

Roger smiled. "And you haven't messed up," he said. "Noah loves you and you love him, no matter what you have or don't have. You still have 15 years of Noah's life to show him you can be even more of the best damn mother in this world. If hat means changing your lifestyle a little, then so be it." He gently wiped the tears from her cheeks. "You've done the best you could by him, and if that's not enough, it's the best you knew how. You have friends here, Shay. We'll help you with whatever you need. Lena's already proven that." He smiled down at her.

"Thank you, Roger," Shay whispered, wrapping her arms around him. "Thank you so much. I love you."

Roger pulled away to look down at her. "You do?" he asked.

"Yeah, I do," Shay replied, smiling up at him. "There's no use denying it anymore."

Roger smiled as tears burned the backs of his eyes. "I love you, too, Shay," he said. "I will never hurt you."

"I know," Shay said, and he pulled her into a passionate kiss.

* * *

When they got back to Shay's apartment, they saw Lena and Noah were in the living room, putting a puzzle together. It was a child's puzzle, but Noah was still concentrating, and did not look up until Lena got to her feet.

"Mommy's home!" Noah exclaimed, and he ran over to Shay and hugged her happily.

"Hi, sweetie," she said, smiling at him. "Did you have fun with Lena today?"

"Yep," Noah said. "We watched a movie and had pizza for lunch. Then we went for a walk, and now we're doing a puzzle."

"That's great, buddy," Shay said. "I'm glad you have so much fun with Lena."

"Me, too, Mommy," Noah said, resting his head against her thigh. "Did you have fun with Roger?"

"I sure did, baby boy," Shay said, looking down at him.

"What did you do?"

"Well," Shay began, and she went into the living room to sit down with Noah, Lena, and Roger, "we walked to the park and sat around and talked."

Noah nodded. "So Lena's leaving now?" he asked.

"Yep, so we had better show her to the door, like a gentleman, OK?" Shay asked him.

Noah nodded and walked with Lena to the door. As Lena waved to them and Noah shut the door, Roger leaned over and whispered to Shay, "Preparing him for prom a little early, aren't we?"

Shay laughed. "I hope not," she said. "My little boy's gonna grow up faster than I want already. I don't want to rush it."

Roger laughed as Noah came back up the stairs to them, and they went back into the living room.


	11. A Break, Moving On, and Proposing

"Roger, can you come here, please?" Shay asked, looking over at him. He had been spending a lot of time at her apartment lately, and that was where he could be found tonight.

"Sure, Baby," Roger said, getting up from the floor, where he had been playing a video game with Noah. "Noah, can Mario wait?" he asked Noah.

"Sure, Roger," Noah said, looking up at him.

"Thanks, kiddo," Roger said, and he went into the kitchen with Shay. "What's up, Baby?"

Shay crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm quitting Cat Scratch," she said quietly, looking down.

"What? Why?" Roger asked, surprised.

"Well… because, although it pays well, it's exploitive," Shay began. "And I don't like being away from Noah as much as I am with two jobs. My job at CK is nine-to-five and that means I would be able to spend evenings and weekends with you and him. The Cat Scratch was just extra, and I don't need it."

Roger nodded. "Well, as long as it's what you really want and no one's pressuring you to do it," he said.

"No one is," Shay assured him. "It's my own choice; one of the few I've made in a long time."

"Well, OK," Roger said, smiling at her, "then I'm happy for you." He leaned down to kiss her. "Hey, Baby?"

"Yes?" Shay asked, looking up at him.

"What would you say to us going to the coast for the weekend?" he asked. "Say, to Boston or Florida or something?"

"Florida?" Shay asked, surprised. "Are you nuts?"

"Probably," Roger said, laughing. Shay hit him playfully on the chest. "We can go to the beach in Florida and swim with the dolphins and stuff. It would be great."

"OK," Shay said, "so are we taking the train and then renting a car or what?"

"Sure, why not?" Roger asked.

Shay nodded. "It sounds great, actually."

"And we can learn to surf and windsurf and eat seafood every day," Roger continued.

"That sounds great, Rog," Shay talked over his excitement, "but what about my son? I can't leave him for a week."

"He can stay with Mark and Lena," Roger said. "She already stays at the loft a lot as it is, and watches him a lot as it is. What's one more week? And the Bohos will help her out as much as they can— more than they can, in Mo and Jo's case." He smiled down at her. "See? I got it covered."

"I guess you do," Shay said, laying her head on his chest. "Well, come on, we should tell the others."

"OK," Roger said, and he took her hand and they walked back into the living room. Roger sat down and was violently beaten at the game twenty times by Noah.

* * *

"Are you _sure _you aren't secretly eloping on us?" Collins asked jokingly, as he hugged Shay one last time before they were to board the train.

"Yes, we're sure, for the last time," Shay said, laughing. "We'll come back in a week just the same as we are now."

Collins, however, didn't seem convinced. He grinned mischievously at Roger when he shook Roger's hand, and Roger winked back at him.

Shay crouched down to hug Noah one last time before the conductor was to call for them to board. "You be good for Lena and Mark and everybody, OK?" she asked, looking up at him.

"I will," Noah said, tears in his eyes.

"Don't cry, baby boy," Shay said. "Mommy's only gonna be gone for eight night-nights, OK? On the ninth night-night, I'll be back to tuck you in, OK?"

"OK," Noah said, and he hugged her tightly, reassured. "I love you, Mommy."

"I love you, too, kiddo," Shay said softly, and she started to cry as she hugged him tightly and kissed his forehead, breaking her own rule.

Shay stood up and looked at her Bohemian family. "See you guys in a week," she said, and then they boarded and got their seats. They watched out the window as the train began to go and picked up speed, and Noah, Lena, and the Bohemians were lost in the steam from the train. The train rounded a bend and then they were gone.

* * *

A few days later, Roger and Shay were enjoying dinner on the beach of Tampa Bay, Florida. They were in an extravagant restaurant, right on the beach, and the sun was setting romantically around them. They finished their meal and Shay took Roger's hands in hers and led him away, after he'd paid the check.

"Where are we going, Baby?" Roger asked, giving her a confused look.

"To the water," Shay said, smiling at him. When she saw he was hesitant, she teased in a sing-song voice, "It won't hurt you."

"I know it won't," Roger said hesitantly, "but…" He wished Shay would stop and listen to him for a second. However, he followed her reluctantly as she ran down to the beach. He soon caught up with her and grabbed her hand. He pulled back on her arm a little harder than he had intended, and they both went crashing down onto the sand, laughing happily. Roger smiled and kissed her tenderly.

"I love you, Shay," he said.

"I love you, too, Roger," she replied.

Roger held his breath for a few seconds before he looked at Shay. He couldn't hold it in any longer. "Marry me, Shay," he blurted out.

Shay looked up at him. "What?" she asked, afraid she had misheard him.

"Marry me," Roger said again, more strongly this time, and he pulled a ring box out of his back pocket and opened it. Inside was a small diamond ring. It was small, but beautiful, and all he could afford.

Shay's hand flew to her mouth. "Oh my God, Roger," she whispered in awe, "really?"

"Yeah," Roger said breathlessly. He gave her a nervous look. "So… do you have an answer?"

"Oh." Shay giggled and looked up at him. "Yes. Yes, Roger Davis, I will marry you."

Roger beamed at her. "Thank you, Shay Elizabeth Milano," he said. "You've made this day the happiest day of my life."

"But there's something else I have to do first."

"What?" He looked down at her.

"I have to talk to Noah about it. Is that OK?"

"That's fine, Baby," Roger said. "Of course I would want the little man's approval." He smiled down at her.

"OK," Shay said. "Thank you, Roger. Thank you for everything. I love you."

"I love you, too, Baby," Roger said, and he leaned down to kiss her tenderly.

_

* * *

_

Three days later…

"Hey, buddy," Shay whispered, going into the three-year-old's room and over to his bed. "I'm home."

"Hi, Mommy," Noah said, as he woke up to her touch and rolled over to face her. "How was Florida?"

"Florida was great," Shay said. "Baby boy, there's something you need to know."

"What?" Noah asked, sitting up.

Shay persuaded him to lie back down, however. "It's OK," she said, "nothing's wrong. But I need to know whether you're OK with Roger and I getting married, because he asked me to marry him when we were in Florida. If you're OK with it, he's gonna be your bonus daddy."

Noah's eyes went wide. "He did?" he asked. "He's gonna be my bonus daddy?"

"Your bonus daddy, yep," Shay said, smiling at him. Shay knew that it would not do any good to explain to Noah about Carter any more than just the one picture she had of him, until Noah was older. "So you're OK with it?"

"Yeah, Mommy, I am," Noah said. "I like Roger. He loves you."

"Yeah, he does," Shay said, smiling. "Now you go back to sleep, OK? I'll see you in the morning."

"OK, goodnight, Mommy," Noah said, and he rolled over to go back to sleep.

"Goodnight, baby boy," Shay said, kissing the top of his head before going back out to Roger.

"So he's OK with us getting married?" he asked.

"Yep," Shay said. "Actually, I think he's been waiting."

"Oh." Roger laughed. "OK."

"So how are we gonna tell the Bohos and your parents?" Shay asked. "Mo and Jo are gonna be really bad, aren't they?"

"Yeah, probably," Roger said, laughing. "They always are with something like this. Come on, we should hit the sheets."

"OK," Shay said, and she followed him into the bedroom.

It's 4:30 A.M. as I am posting this. I just had a dream about Adam Pascal, so I can't sleep. I figured, why not post something more, since I'm getting up in an hour and a half, anyway? If you want to know about the dream, just ask. I wrote it down, so I remember it. It was extremely weird, although neat at the same time. Today (as in, in a few hours, heh) my family and I are touring the White House and having lunch with one of our state's senators, and then we finally go home! We were gonna go to Gettysburg in Pennsylvania, but opted out of it since both my parents have been there before and I didn't really want to see it. My eighth grade history teacher would be disappointed I didn't go, though; he talked about it to me back then, LOL.

Anyways, at 4:30 A.M., here's chapter 11. And I realize it's slightly unlikely a kid would know how to play Mario Bros. at three years of age, but my nephew is only four, and he can play it, so... I doubt I'm gonna get back to sleep, so I might as well type up chapter 12 for you readers, until my parents get up at 6. I hope I don't wake them up, because they would be mad to know I have been on the computer at this hour, when I really should be sleeping. What we authors will do for our readers!

Don't forget to review.

Until next time, lots of love,

Renthead07


	12. Preparations and a Wedding

It's pretty long (judging by my Microsoft Word, seven pages), so I hope it is enough to sustain you readers until I can update again tomorrow night or Sunday sometime, because I'm really on my way home! I have got two more chapters finished up being written and just have to be typed up, and then I've got even more ideas for future chapters! Enjoy this and see you in a couple days!

"So you _did _elope," Collins teased, as they told the Bohemians the news, a couple days later.

"_No_, Collins, for the last time, we did _not _elope," Shay insisted firmly, but she was laughing. "We just enjoyed a week on the beach and Roger proposed, but we are _not _married yet. We wouldn't get married without you guys having some input on it."

"It sounds perfect," Lena said, after Shay had relayed the story. "You're so lucky, Shay."

"Yeah," Maureen and Joanne said together, their arms around each other's shoulders.

Shay smiled. "Yeah, I know," she said. "I'm just glad it finally happened. He has seemed itching to do it for days."

"Well, you deserve it, Baby girl," Collins said.

Shay smiled. "Thanks, Collins," she said. "So are you guys ready to plan a wedding?"

"More than ready," the Bohemians said together. Shay grinned and leaned up to kiss Roger.

* * *

A couple days later, Shay and Roger drove down to Scarsdale. Shay fidgeted nervously while she was driving. Roger reached over and took her hand. Noah was sitting quietly in the backseat.

"Baby, relax," he said soothingly, laughing. "They are gonna love you."

"Really?" Shay asked him. "Even though I've got a, you know, a history? I mean, I'm negative, but still..."

"Baby, look at who you've got for a fiancé," Roger said seriously. "If you think _your _history is bad, look at me."

Shay looked over at him. "You know," she said, "you're right. OK, I guess I'm ready, then."

Roger smiled. "Good," he said. "You'll be great, I promise. Do you trust me?"

"Of course I trust you, Roger," Shay replied, and she was reassured, as they continued on their way to Scarsdale.

Roger knocked three times on the Davis's front door and Mrs. Davis answered. "Roger!" she exclaimed excitedly, as she opened the door and saw her son. "Come in, come in!"

"Hi, Mom," Roger said, and he hugged his mom as they entered, and Shay shut the door behind them. "How are you?"

"I'm great," Mrs. Davis said. "And who is this?"

"Um, well, first, we should get Dad," Roger said, looking around. Roger's timing was perfect, because a moment later, Mr. Davis came down the stairs. "Hey, Dad."

"Hi, son," Mr. Davis said. "What are you doing here? And with…?" He indicated to Shay, not knowing who she was.

"Surprise visit," Roger said. "Actually, I have some great news. Is it OK if we sit down, though? This little boy is pretty tired from the trip."

"Sure, sure," Mr. Davis said, and he ushered them into the living room. "So tell me who this is."

"Dad, Mom, this is my fiancé, Shay Milano, and her son, Noah," Roger said, introducing Shay to his mother and father. "She lives in East Village, not far from Mark and I. Shay, these are my parents, Dylan and Jordan Davis."

"It's very nice to meet you both," Shay said, as she shook their hands individually.

"Nice to meet you, too," they said together.

"We're so glad Roger finally found someone," Jordan said. "You two seem perfect for each other."

Shay smiled appreciatively. "We are very happy together," she said. "We're very excited to get married. Of course, you both are on the top of the guest list."

"Thanks," Jordan and Dylan said together.

After a moment, Dylan spoke up. "Shay, is it OK if I speak with you privately for a moment?" he asked.

"Of course, Mr. Davis," Shay said.

"Please, it's Dylan now," he said, smiling at her.

"OK, Dylan, whenever you want." Shay followed Dylan into the kitchen. "What's up?"

"I want to thank you for being there for Roger," Dylan said. "You probably didn't know him before Mimi died?"

Shay nodded. "Actually, I did," she said. "I was one of Mimi's dance partners. I've left that job now, though, to do modeling instead. Less exploitive, you see."

"I think that's very smart of you," Dylan said. "But anyway, through April and Roger's past drug use and after he became positive, he was pretty lost for a while. Mimi helped him get past a lot of that trouble, but I can see that you have helped so much more, too."

Shay smiled. "I try my best, Dylan," she said.

"May I inquire about your son?" he asked curiously. Shay searched his face for a moment, looking for any sign of judgment, but there was nothing.

"Of course," Shay said. "Noah is where my, um, past history comes into play. He was the result of a one-night stand at a party I never should have been at with an abusive boyfriend. But since that night, I've never gone to one party and I'm always careful with whatever I do in life, whether it's men or activities or whatever, for my son, and now, Roger, too."

Dylan nodded. "I'm glad," he said. "I'm glad that you didn't let this 'party' incident, you know…"

"Stop me from living?" Shay suggested. Dylan nodded. "Nah. 'No day but today', as Mimi said. And I'm negative, by the way. I've never done drugs."

Dylan nodded and smiled. "I'm glad," he said. "Thanks for listening to me, Shay."

"Of course, Dylan," Shay said, and they went back into the living room.

"So do you approve of her, Dad?" Roger asked, looking up at his father, slightly nervously.

"Yes, of course," Dylan said, smiling at his son. "You have our blessings."

Roger smiled. "Thanks, Dad," he said, and he hugged his parents and leaned down to kiss his mother on the cheek.

* * *

"Hey, Collins," Shay said, when they had returned that evening, "can I ask you something?"

"Sure, Baby girl," Collins said. "What's up?"

"Well, I was wondering…"

"What?" Collins pressed her eagerly.

"Would you mind, you know, taking place of my absentee father at my wedding and do me the honors of walking me down the aisle, as my father figure?"

Collins beamed at her. "Absolutely," he said, "I would be honored, Baby girl."

Shay hugged him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you," she said. "I appreciate it a lot."

"You're worth it, Baby girl," Collins said to her. "You changed Roger's life."

"Yeah, I guess I did," Shay agreed modestly with him, smiling.

* * *

"So what date have you guys set?" Lena asked, a few days later.

"Um, something like September 30th," Shay replied. "We want the weather to be cooler, but not cold, you know?"

"Yeah," Lena said, nodding. Then her face brightened, as she got an idea. "Hey, what about September fifth?"

"My birthday?" Shay asked, looking over at her. "Are you serious?"

"Deadly," Lena said, smiling.

"Well, um, I dunno," Shay said. "I guess I'll admit, I _was _hoping Roger would be OK with that date." She smiled serenely.

"I'm OK with whatever you want, Baby," Roger said, entering the kitchen quickly, the look on his face making it seem like he was running from something or someone. "And would you two go tie Maureen to a tree, so she quits dogging me about tuxes, please? I want denim. Tuxes and me… we have issues." He grimaced at her.

Shay and Lena burst out laughing. "That's great, Baby," Shay said, "because I don't want a dress."

Roger looked relieved. "You don't?" he asked. Shay shook her head. "Well, great, because it would be really neat if you…"

"I am _not_, however, going naked," Shay cut him off, laughing and giving him a fierce look, "no matter how much you want it. We have young, virgin eyes giving us our rings, you know."

Roger laughed. "Yeah, you're right. Whatever you want, Baby," he said. "Now go get Maureen!" He gave her a pleading look.

"Oh, all right," Shay said, and she went out with Lena.

* * *

On September fifth, 1991, Shay's twentieth birthday, she woke up next to Roger. He was breathing deeply and calmly. She smiled happily and gently caressed his hair, but he didn't wake. Shay smiled again and slipped quietly out of bed and went to the kitchen. She poured some beans into the coffeemaker and went searching for the filters. As she found them, her eyes fell on a small, white bottle: Roger's AZT. She thought about what it meant. She had never really thought about it at all. He was required to take it twice a day to prolong his life, which she knew that, as much as she wanted it to be normal, it never could be so. And whether she liked it or not, he could be taken from her tomorrow or next year.

As the coffee beeped when it was done, Roger came into the kitchen in his boxers, his hair disheveled. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and smiled as he saw her sitting in the chair.

"Hey there, my beautiful bride," he said, as he wrapped his arms around her from behind. "How did you sleep?"

"I slept great," Shay said, smiling up at him. He leaned down to kiss her, but she pulled away playfully. "No, don't kiss me until I've freshened up; or, better yet, wait until you have the pastor's permission." She grinned.

"Aw, but I like your morning breath, it's sexy," Roger teased.

Shay laughed, but tried to keep it down, so she wouldn't wake Noah up. "Yeah, I know you do," she said. "Now go get pants on. Collins and Mark will be here to take you to get ready for our big day, while I'm stuck with Mo, Jo, and Lena."

Roger chuckled. "All right, Baby," he said. "I'll see you in a couple hours, OK?"

"You will," Shay said, grinning, as the doorbell rang. "Damn it, I told them not to do that," she added irritably. "They're gonna wake Noah up. Go!" She flourished her hands at him.

"Roger, let's go!" Mark yelled from downstairs. "We've got a wedding to do!"

"I'm coming! And would you keep it down? We've got a little kid sleeping up here," Roger yelled back, laughing at how had just contradicted himself, and he blew Shay a kiss as he went by, and then he was gone.

* * *

"Lena, did you see Roger?" Shay asked. "Is he OK?"

"He's nervous as hell, sweetie," Lena replied, "but I told him that's good luck. His parents are here, talking him through it, especially his dad."

"Good, that should make him feel better," Shay said, as Maureen put up her hair into an elegant twist. "Ouch, Mo, don't pull," she added, as Maureen accidentally tugged on her hair.

"Sorry, Princess Bride," she joked, smiling at Shay.

"Speaking of princess," Lena said, looking at Shay, "are you ready to go marry your prince, Shay? If you are, Collins is waiting for you at the back of the aisle."

"OK," Shay said, and she took a deep breath, "yes. Yes, I am. And my baby boy ring bearer is out there waiting, too?"

Lena smiled. "Yep, he's already done with Mark and Roger, so they can keep an eye on him once Collins gets down there with you, and you get busy. But keep it PG, OK? We got a little ringbearer out there. You go, girl," she said, and Shay, Maureen, and Joanne followed her out of the room.

They lined up at the back of the aisle and then began to proceed. As Shay heard the Grand March begin and she started to walk down the aisle with a beaming Collins, all traces of nervousness vanished as she saw Roger. He was gorgeous. Shay couldn't stop smiling as she walked up to him and Collins took his place by Mark, the Best Man.

"Hey," Roger whispered to her, "you look beautiful, Baby. Really, wow."

"Thanks," Shay whispered back. "You look great, too. Smokin', really. I can't wait."

"Me, neither," Roger agreed, smiling down at her, knowing what she meant.

Then the ceremony began. It was beautiful. As Roger and Shay said their vows and exchanged their rings, with help from Noah, there was not a dry eye in the church. It passed in a blur for Shay, and soon, she and Roger kissed for the first time as husband and wife. Shay threw her bouquet and laughed when Lena caught it.

"You're next," Shay whispered to her.

"Yeah, I guess," Lena said, laughing as she looked at Mark, whose eyes were wide, and they went to the reception.

OK, so here's the real chapter 12. I know I said the previous chapter was number 12, but hey, that's because I was up at 4:30 A.M. (earlier, actually, typing it) to update for you readers, LOL. Next chapter will hopefully be up by tomorrow night. If not tomorrow night, then Sunday, almost guaranteed. And of course, if you're interested (I know Rosablasifann08 and Renthead621 are), I'll tell you how my trip went.

Don't forget to review, as always.

Until next time, lots of love,

Renthead07


	13. The Morning After and an Announcement

Again, a shorter chapter. But I guarantee you the next few chapters will be really long, so this will hopefully hold you off until I get home this afternoon sometime. Enjoy this chapter.

When Shay woke up the next morning, she saw Roger was already up and watching her, from where he was propped on his elbow. "Morning, my beautiful bride," he said.

"Hey yourself," Shay murmured. "How are you today?"

"I'm great, Baby," Roger said. "How are you?"

Shay flinched as her head throbbed. "I feel like shit," she said. "My head is pounding."

"Aw, I'm sorry," Roger said. "That's not a good way to start out as a newlywed. Can I bring you anything? Tylenol? Coffee?"

"That would be nice," Shay said, smiling weakly up at him. "Thank you."

"No problem, Baby," Roger said, and he went out into the kitchen to get her Tylenol and bring her a cup of coffee. A minute or so later, he came back. Shay sat up and took the pills and coffee cup from him. "That should help."

"Should?" Shay asked, giving him a weary look, as she downed her pills with a swallow of coffee.

"Well, we had a long night," Roger said, shrugging. "You outdid Mo at her own drinking game. That takes some serious strength. Mo is famous for her alcohol tolerance."

"I guess," Shay said, and she set the mostly-full cup on the night stand and sank back onto her pillows. "What about Noah?"

"My parents took him to Scarsdale for the weekend, remember? They left right after the wedding. I had said you wouldn't mind them ditching our reception, since it wouldn't be a sight for a three-year-old's eyes."

"Oh yeah," Shay said, clutching her head as it throbbed again. "I remember now. Fuck, I really messed up. I'm really glad Noah can't see me like this. I'm never doing that again, no matter how much Mo pressures me to. Never."

"Me neither, Baby," Roger said.

Shay looked up, surprised. "Really?"

"Yep," Roger said. "Now that I've got a little boy to help care for, I can't. I shouldn't, you know? It's the best thing for him to not have influences like that around."

"Oh man, Baby, that's really sweet of you," Shay said. "You've made me so happy and feel like shit in one sentence."

Roger was rather confused. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"Well, whether he was around to see it or not, I really fucked up. I'm never drinking again. Never."

"That's great, Baby," Roger said, smiling down at her. "I'm proud of you. My quitting smoking has been easier, too, just being with you two helps make the cravings disappear."

"Great," Shay said, "I'm proud of you, too."

"Thanks," Roger said, smiling at her, and he climbed in and snuggled close to her. "You sleep, OK? You'll feel better later. I'm here."

"OK, as long as you're here," Shay said, and a little while later, she drifted off to sleep.

* * *

"Mo, what did you do to our Baby girl?" Collins asked, giving Maureen a look as he, Joanne, Maureen, and Lena dropped by to see Roger and Shay a couple days later.

Maureen shrugged. "I dunno what you're accusing me of, Collins," she said, as Shay ran into the adjoining bathroom, grabbing something from the top of her dresser as she went, and she threw up. "It's her fault she challenged me. You could have told her not to." Maureen gave him a stubborn look.

"Shay, honey, are you OK?" Joanne asked, concerned, going over to the door and knocking after the horrible retching noises had stopped. Joanne sent Maureen a very nasty look, to which Maureen fired back a very innocent look.

A few minutes later, Shay opened the door. Roger rushed over to her and supported her. "Baby, are you OK?" he asked, looking down at her.

"I'm better," Shay said. "Mo, this isn't your fault after all." She held up what she'd grabbed on her way by. It was a pregnancy stick. "I just took this a few minutes ago."

"What?" Maureen asked, confused. Frowning, she grabbed the stick quickly from Shay and looked at it. Then she looked up at Shay and stared from her to the stick again. "This is a... you... you're...?" She couldn't seem to finish. Shay wasn't sure why.

"Pregnant, yes," Shay said nonchalantly, smiling at her. She watched Roger's reaction carefully. It was quite similar to Maureen's. He grabbed the stick and looked at it, and then he looked at Shay, his mouth hanging open.

"Well... so you're... OK, but that's good, isn't it?" he stammered nervously.

"Yeah, Baby, I'm pregnant, and it is good," Shay said, surprised at his nervousness. "You can breathe now."

Roger let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "Sorry," he said, looking down at her. He took her into his arms and relaxed. "Am I gonna be like this in nine months, too?"

"Probably," Shay said, laughing. She pulled away from him and looked at Collins. "Hey, Collins, you OK?"

Collins looked at her, blinking a few times, as though coming out of a reverie. He closed his mouth, which had also been unconsciously hanging open. "Huh? Oh. Yeah, I'm great. My Baby girl's having a baby. I'm gonna have another terror to corrupt."

Shay smiled. "Or princess to spoil," she said. "I think the 'terror' I already have is a pretty damn good terror, don't you?" she asked.

"Yeah, of course," Collins agreed, smiling down at her. "We all love him so much. This baby won't change that."

Shay nodded. "I hope Noah understands that when we tell him," she said.

"He will, Baby girl," Collins said. "I'll make sure of that; Roger, too."

"Thanks, Collins," Shay said.

"You're so welcome, Baby girl," Collins said, kissing the top of her head as he pulled her into a strong— though now much gentler— bear hug.

Don't forget to review.

Until next time, lots of love,

Renthead07


	14. The Hard Wait

I FINALLY UPDATED! I know, I know, this is nearly a week later than I had originally promised, but you all know about my backpack crisis by now. Well, my stepsister came today, and as promised, I got it back! So here is chapter 14 for you guys! Rosablasifann08, Shay's doctor's name is for you! You know what I mean, LOL.

"Anybody here?" Roger called, as he and Shay knocked and entered his parents' house.

"Mommy! Roger!" Noah squealed, as he came out of the kitchen and into the entryway to meet them.

"Hiya, kiddo," Roger said, scooping Noah into a hug. "How have Grandpa and Grandma been treating you? Are they giving you all the stuff you want?"

"Yeah," Noah said, and Roger transferred him to Shay's arms, so she could hug him, as Dylan and Jordan Davis came out of the kitchen to greet them.

"Hi, buddy. Jordan, I told you not to," Shay said to Noah and Jordan respectively. But she smiled appreciatively.

"Oh, I couldn't resist," Jordan gushed, her cheeks pinking up serenely. "Being my only grandson, what else could I do?"

Shay laughed. "But that's what we have to tell you before we leave," she said. "He isn't gonna be your only grandson anymore."

Jordan's hand flew to her mouth. "What?" she asked. "You're pregnant?"

"Yeah," Shay said, smiling.

Jordan let out a shriek. Dylan put a hand on her shoulder, but she went forward and hugged shay nevertheless, tears in her eyes. "Honey," Dylan said, "calm down. I'm sure they're overwhelmed enough as it is, especially with Shay being negative and all. Don't cry." His tone was genuinely concerned, but his eyes were twinkling and he was beaming.

"It's OK, Dylan," Shay said, smiling fondly at him.

Noah noticed the tears in his mother's eyes. "Mommy, why are you sad?" he asked.

"Oh," Shay said, wiping her eyes as she realized that, "I'm not, sweetie. In fact, I'm very happy. It's good to cry when you're happy, too, you know."

"Yeah, I know," Noah said, looking up at her. "What made you happy?"

"Well, buddy," Shay said, crouching down to be at his level, "you see, Mommy and Daddy found out that you're gonna be a big brother."

Noah's mouth fell open and his eyes went huge. "I _am_?" he asked excitedly.

"Yeah, kiddo, you sure are," Shay said, and she cried as she hugged him happily, breaking her own rule.

"So when are you due?" Jordan asked Shay.

"Around August first," Shay replied, and Roger leaned down to kiss her. Then they bid Dylan and Jordan farewell and went home.

-

"Mark, are you here?" Roger called, as he walked into the loft with Shay. Collins, Maureen, and Joanne were watching Noah for the day at Joanne's house.

There was silence for a moment, and then they heard strangled yells. "Stay here," he said firmly to Shay, and he went to Mark's bedroom. The door was unlocked, so he knocked quietly and opened it, and was met by the sight of Lena and Mark in bed. "Oh. Sorry, guys. Get dressed, OK? Shay and I need to talk to you." He smiled nonchalantly, knowing Mark and Lena were mortified at him finding them like this.

"Roger, get the fuck out of here!" Mark yelled at him.

"OK, sorry," Roger said. He could barely keep from laughing as he shut the door and went back to Shay.

"What is it?" she asked.

"You don't want to know," Roger said.

Shay's eyes narrowed curiously. "Yeah, I do," she said suspiciously. "What did you find?"

"Let's just say… I found the aftermath of Lena trying to turn into you at this moment."

Shay put her hand over her mouth and her eyes widened. "Oh," she said, and she giggled, grinning broadly. "Oh no… Is that why I heard Mark yell at you?"

Roger nodded and then he laughed as Lena and Mark came out of the bedroom, fully dressed and their faces red. "Roger, what do you want?" Mark asked sleepily, as he staggered into the kitchen and over to the coffee pot, which was beeping. He poured four cups and handed three of them to Shay, Roger, and Lena. Shay politely declined hers.

"Mark, I can't have caffeine, remember?" she asked him, smiling half-heartedly.

"Oh, right. Sorry, I forgot," Mark said. He went over to dump the untouched coffee cup's contents into the sink. "So how's life treating you without coffee, pop, caffeine, or junk food?"

"OK enough," Shay said. "It was hard at first. But after a few weeks, you tend to get over your cravings for it and then, when you try a little bit of it, it's disgusting, you know?"

Mark nodded. "No, I don't really know, but I get your drift," he said.

"And we wanted to let you know something else." Roger motioned to Shay that he wanted to tell Mark this himself.

"What?" Mark and Lena asked together.

"We're selling Shay's apartment and getting a bigger place. I'm moving out," Roger said. "We got a call on a perfect house last week, and we went to look at it right away. It's three bedrooms, two bathrooms. We have more than enough room to raise the family we want."

"Oh," Mark said, looking surprised, but pleased. "OK. Well, congratulations."

"Thanks," Roger said, smiling down at him. "So, you're not mad or anything?"

"No," Mark said. "Why would I be? You're a grown man. You can do what you want. Plus, this means Lena can move in for sure, since she got a really offer for her flat from an NYU student a couple days ago." Mark looked down at Lena. "Right, Lena?"

"Right, Mark," she said.

"Well, in that case," Roger said, "I'm glad things are working out so well for us— for all of us."

Mark nodded. "Me, too," he said, smiling at Lena.

-

"Baby, I told you," Roger said impatiently, coming over to Shay, "you shouldn't be carrying heavy stuff like that."

"Roger, stop it," Shay said firmly, scowling at him. "I'm pregnant, not suddenly made of glass. And besides, I feel like a damn invalid, just sitting around on my ass. I want to help, or at least do _something_. Even Noah is doing his share by taking his own stuff up to his new room."

"Noah is not carrying my future child," Roger argued exasperatedly. "Come on, Shay, give me those," he pleaded with her, and he took the box from her.

"Fine," Shay said, scowling at him again, and whirled around quickly to go get something else that would please him. As she did so, she felt a hot flash of pain. When she doubled over and let out a cry, Roger saw stains of scarlet.

-

Roger paced around the waiting room, his brow furrowed with worry. It had been nearly an hour since the ambulance had brought Shay in, because she had started to hemorrhage. Now Roger was worried sick. He wanted to hear from a doctor so badly, he was about to explode or kill something, whichever happened first.

Finally, an orderly came out and consulted her clipboard. "Shay Davis?" she asked.

"That's me," Roger said, and he followed the orderly down the hall. "Is she OK?" he demanded, as they approached Shay's room.

"You may go in," the orderly said. "Her doctor will be along to see you in a few moments."

"Thank you," Roger said, and he went into the room. Sunlight was streaming through the open curtains onto Shay's face. She looked like an angel. Roger also saw she was awake.

"Hey, Baby," she said softly.

"Hi," Roger said, and he went over to her and took her hand after he sat down in a chair beside her. "How are you feeling? Did the doctor say anything to you yet?"

"I'm OK. I'm very tired, a little sore, and no," Shay answered him, looking up at him nervously. She was scared to see his reaction to whatever news the doctor had for them. "He said he wanted to wait until you got here."

"Well, I'm here, so where the hell is the man?" Roger demanded furiously.

"Baby, calm down—" Shay began, but Roger cut her off angrily.

"Calm down?" he echoed angrily. "I can't calm down!" He got up from his chair and resumed his restless pacing. "Shay, for all we know, our son or daughter is gone and the doctor has yet to tell us that." Tears appeared in Roger's eyes and spilled over. "You were doubled over and crying, and I thought I was gonna fucking lose you…"

"But you didn't," Shay said, and then the doctor knocked and entered. "Doctor Thornton?" she asked him.

She didn't have to ask the question straight for Doctor Lizzie Thornton to know what she was talking about. "Well, you didn't miscarry," she said.

That alone was enough for Shay and Roger to hear. They both broke down in that instant and cried with relief. When they both had controlled themselves, Doctor Thornton continued.

"It was a small tear in your placenta, Shay," she said. "We were lucky to stop the bleeding and not have to deliver your daughter, much too early, at the same time. She may not have survived at only five months."

It took a moment, but then Roger looked up. "She?" he asked.

"Yes," Doctor Thornton said, finally smiling. "You two are having a daughter."

Roger and Shay beamed and kissed each other gratefully. "What should we name her, Shay?" Roger asked her, caressing her belly. But Shay wasn't listening to him. The doctor was surveying Roger intently, waiting for his attention. "Oh. Sorry, Doctor. Please continue."

"So I'm putting you on strict bedrest, Shay," Doctor Thornton said to her, giving her a very stern look. "And because there's risk of you tearing again with a natural birth, we'll have to do a planned C-section. That will also dramatically lower her risk of being positive, since, as of this point, blood tests show that both you and her are negative."

Shay bit her lip. The sound of a C-section made her nervous. Roger gripped her hand tightly; not enough to hurt her, but enough to let her know he was serious about this, too. "OK," she said meekly.

Doctor Thornton nodded. "Well, then that's all I have. You'll go home tomorrow after a night of observation."

"Thank you, Doctor," Roger said, and the doctor left. Roger turned to Shay. He gave her a stern look as well. "Somehow, 'I told you so' doesn't quite say it." He raised his eyebrows at her.

Shay looked down, ashamed. "I know," she said. "What else can I say besides I'm sorry?"

Roger nodded. "You can _say _you'll do exactly what Doctor Thornton says to do," he said firmly, "so we can bring this little girl safely into the world, OK? Say you'll listen, Shay, OK? Please say it. It's all I want to hear right now."

"OK, I'll listen," Shay surrendered. She put her hands on her round belly. "I want to bring little Lily safely into this world, too."

"Lily?" Roger asked curiously, looking down at her.

"Yeah, I was… I was hoping we could name our daughter that, if that was what we were having, and we are. So…" She looked up at him. "Is that OK?"

"Of course it is, Baby," Roger said, laughing with relief. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I don't know," Shay said, "honest. So it's Lily Davis?"

"Yeah, of course it is, but what about a middle name?" Roger asked her.

"What about Jordan?"

"After my mom, you mean?"

"Well, it beats using my mom's name," Shay said bitterly. She made a sour face.

Roger smiled sadly at her. "Thanks," he said, "I can't wait to tell her. I'm sure she'll be thrilled. She'll be crying to Dad even more."

Shay laughed. "Speaking of telling," she said, "you'd better go tell Noah and the Bohos that I'm OK. We never really got a chance to call them or anything, because this all happened so fast. By then, visiting hours will be over, but they can come by tomorrow."

"OK," Roger said. "I'm gonna say goodbye, then, I guess." He kissed her goodbye. "I love you, Shay, and I love you, my baby girl, Lily." He caressed Shay's belly lovingly, kissed her one last time, and then he was gone.

-

"Oh my God, are you OK? I've been worried _sick_!" Lena exclaimed, rushing up to Shay, as Roger helped her into their new house. For those who knew Lena well, this exclamation of worry was rare for her.

"Yeah, Lena, I'm fine," Shay said, looking at her. "Let go, would you? I can hardly breathe! And I'm breathing for two now, mind you…"

"Sorry," Lena said, chuckling, "but you know, for a while there, when Roger hadn't called or anything, I thought you were…"

Not able to finish, Lena looked down as tears appeared in her eyes. Shay lifted her chin with her hand. "I know," she said quietly, "but I'm not. I'm here and I'm OK, and nothing bad is ever gonna happen to your future niece again, OK?"

"My future what?" Lena asked, fearing she'd misheard Shay. "My… you're having a…?"

"Yep, we are," Shay said. She looked at the Bohemians as well. "You guys are gonna have a little princess to spoil."

The Bohemians let out cheers of joy. Shay hugged Lena as they cried happily together. "So who's up for a party?" Collins asked.

Shay and Lena looked at each other and rolled their eyes. Then they both burst out laughing. "I am," Shay said, "as long as it's in our room, Collins." Roger looked at her. "What? I said it has to be in my room, or else I can't join in. And I'm not gonna drink, Baby. They can, but I won't. Not around Noah. Speaking of which," she added, looking around, "where is my little sweetheart, anyway?"

"Hi, Mommy," Noah said, coming down the stairs. "I was up in my new room. Are you OK now? Uncle Mark said you had an accident."

"Yeah, Mommy's OK now, baby boy, I promise," Shay said. "Do you like your new room?"

"Yeah, it's cool," Noah said. "I have lots of Queen and Bruce Sri... Sprin... Springsteen! I have lots of Bruce Springsteen posters and stuff on my walls." He grinned at her, happy he had finally succeeded at pronouncing the word properly.

Shay looked at Roger after she had nodded at Noah. "Gee, I wonder whose fault that would be?" she teased. "Springsteen, Roger? He's gonna have nightmares now!"

"Hey, I couldn't resist," Roger said, smiling at her. "Collins and Mark did all the painting of his room, too. Now come on, upstairs to our room and off your feet until August ninth, got it?"

Shay sighed. Despite wanting to get familiar with her new house, she was going to be spending her first several months in bed. "OK, OK," she surrendered, "but I have one more thing to do first. Hey, Noah?"

"Yeah, Mommy?" Noah asked, looking up at her.

"I think you'll be happy to know that you're gonna have a little sister in a few months."

"I am?" Noah asked excitedly.

"Yeah, buddy, you are."

"And Roger's gonna be her daddy, just like he's my daddy?"

"That's right, my sweet boy, he's gonna be both your daddies."

Noah smiled. "I like that," he said.

"I like it, too, baby boy," Shay said, smiling down at him, and then they went into their new house. Shay knew it was going to become all-too-familiar to her from her bedroom until Lily joined their family.

Next chapter will be up by tonight, I promise! Don't forget to review.

Until next time, lots of love,

Renthead07


	15. Lily Jordan

I know it's really short by my standards, but I promise the next couple of chapters will be much longer. And yes, Rosablasifann08, you got your wish! Enjoy!

"Roger, I want to see her," Shay said, as she lay on the operating table after her C-section. "Is she OK?"

"She's fine, Baby," Roger said. "She's beautiful. They're cleaning her up for her mommy right now."

"OK," Shay said.

"Shay, we're gonna stitch you up and then you're gonna go to the Recovery room for a few hours, OK?" the Head Surgeon asked her.

"OK," Shay said again, and after they were finished, Roger went with her to the Recovery room, Lily Jordan Davis safely in her arms.

"I'm gonna go out and see the Bohos for a few minutes, OK, Shay?" Roger asked her.

"Sure, Baby," Shay said. "I'm not going anywhere."

"OK," Roger said, and he kissed her goodbye. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

* * *

"Is she OK?" Collins and Lena asked, as Roger met them in the waiting room.

"She's fine," Roger assured them, smiling. "She's a little sore, but otherwise, she's great. She's happy Lily Jordan's finally here."

"Lily Jordan?" Joanne asked curiously.

"Shay said she had wanted to name one of our daughters Lily," Roger explained. "Jordan is after my mom."

"Aw, that's so sweet," Lena said.

"Yeah, it is," Roger said, smiling at her, "but I should probably get back to Shay. She gets really nervous in hospitals." He looked down at Noah. "I'll bring your little sister out for you to see in a little while, OK?" He smiled at Noah.

"OK," Noah said, smiling back at him and bouncing on his feet nervously.

* * *

"Hi, Baby; hi, Lily Jordan," Roger said, as he went back into the Recovery room and over to his wife and newborn daughter. "How are you feeling, Baby?"

"Better," Shay said. "I just wanna go home."

"So do I, Baby," Roger said. "Tomorrow, we will, I promise. They're gonna move you to a private room in a couple hours, and then everyone can gush over Lil' Jo."

Shay looked up at him, as she began to nurse Lily. "Lil' Jo?" she asked curiously.

Roger nodded. "It's the rock 'n' roll nickname the staff here has given her. Some of them are just barely college graduates and fans of mine, and the word has spread." He grinned.

Shay grinned, too. "I love it," she said, chuckling. "It's perfect for our little rock 'n' roll princess. But no Metallic nursery, OK? I can handle Evanescence or Coldplay or something like them, but not Metallica. We don't wanna give her nightmares."

"No, there isn't any Metallica," Roger said. "It's posters of Mute and me on pink walls. Collins claims to already have a cavity and gone blind."

Shay laughed. "I'm so glad they could help us so much," she said. "I don't know how to thank them."

"You don't have to, Baby," Roger said, "but Collins and Noah _are_ hoping for a Disneyland trip, since you asked." He grinned.

Shay laughed. "Then they'll get it," she said.

"Really? What about me?"

Shay gave him a look. "What about you?" she said. She smirked evilly. "Honestly, Rog, I think you'll be busy enough with Lil' Jo here in the near future, you'll be too tired for a vacation."

Roger shrugged. "I'll break you down," he joked, and he leaned down to kiss her and Lily's foreheads. "I'm gonna go tell the others, so you sleep, OK? I'll be back soon. I love you, Shay, so much."

"I love you so much, too, Roger," Shay replied, and once Roger left, she laid Lily in her bassinet and the both drifted off to sleep.

* * *

"Oh, she's so cute, Shay," Lena said, as she sat in front of Lily's rocker and gazed at the newborn girl, who had just turned a week old on the sixteenth.

"Seriously, chica, we could eat her," Maureen said, grinning at Shay.

"With a little ranch dressing or ketchup," Joanne added.

Shay laughed from where she was sitting in a chair a few feet away, Noah in her lap. "I know," she said, "but would you please not? She gave me enough trouble just carrying her, and if you eat her, Noah will probably attack you." She looked down at him and smiled. "Right, buddy?"

"Right," Noah said, crossing his arms and putting on his best Davis pout. Already, the three-and-a-half year old was very protective of his little sister.

"Hey, Shay, can I hold her?" Collins asked, looking at Shay.

"Sure, Collins," Shay said, and Collins bent down to hold his niece. Shay watched as a transformation came over him. Hands that seemed capable of unspeakable violence were gentle as they held his newborn niece. Collins no sooner had begun to hold Lily that he also began to cry.

"Collins, what is it?" Shay asked, looking at him with concern.

Collins sniffled and blinked his tears away, since his hands were occupied. "Oh, nothing," he said. "It's just that… I'm holding a little life in my hands… and the rest of us… or a few of us, anyway… won't know how many more times we'll be able to witness this beautiful thing, you know?"

He looked at Shay, who also had tears in her eyes now. "Yeah," she said, crying as well, "I know what you mean. I'm glad you got to see her."

"Me, too, Shay," Collins said, smiling at her through his tears. "And if Roger and I have anything to say about it, we're gonna be around for quite a while yet."

Shay smiled at Collins' quiet enthusiasm. "We can only hope," she said, rubbing his arm gently.

The next chapter may be up by the end of tonight; but if it's not, I'll put it up sometime tomorrow. I got to update because my stepsister is visiting us, and as promised, she picked up and brought me my backpack! She was teasing me about how she could blackmail me with it, but I said I had no blackmail details in my backpack— which was a lie, because all my Rent stories— juicy or not— are in one or more of my notebooks! But she was kidding, LOL. She'd never do that to me, because I never do it to her. Helps that she's 17 years older than me, though, LOL.

Anyways, here's chapter 15! I'll be starting to write chapter 16 tonight, but if it's not posted by the end of tonight, it will be up sometime tomorrow, possibly not until the evening, depending how busy I am.

Don't forget to review, as always.

Until next time, lots of love,

Renthead07


	16. Broken

You guys might recognize some of this chapter from Titanic. Sorry, I had to rent it from whomever they are, LOL. It fit so perfectly. I'm actually listening to "My Heart Will Go On" right now. Oh, and I don't own the Frank Sinatra song. Enjoy!

"Hey, Baby, are you ready to go out?" Roger asked, knocking and going into their bedroom. He saw Shay standing by her mirror, looking herself over, and his heart sped up. She was wearing a long, silver evening gown and her hair was curled just right. She looked truly gorgeous. "Hey, you look… wow." He couldn't take his eyes off her.

Shay turned to face him and she smiled. "Hey," she said, "thanks. I'm glad you like it. Oh, yes, I'm ready."

"Great," Roger said, and he offered his arm, which she took. He noticed she was slimmer than the last time he had really looked hard at her, but since she seemed OK, besides a little tired, and she was normally small, he didn't press the matter.

Dylan and Jordan were visiting them, so Roger and Shay were letting them take care of Noah and Lily tonight, while they went dancing and had a night of fun on the town with Collins, Maureen, Joanne, Lena, and Mark. Of course, neither Dylan nor Jordan minded, especially since they lived in Scarsdale and time spent with their grandson and granddaughter was little.

"Have a great time," Dylan and Jordan had said.

* * *

And so they were. With Mark and Lena around to maintain sobriety, Roger and Shay were becoming increasingly more comfortable being around Collins, Maureen, and Joanne, who were being as liberal with it as they possibly could without getting into trouble.

"Don't you three dare get us thrown out," Shay warned them, as they downed another draft beer each.

"We won't," they chorused, grinning at her.

A fast song, the title of which none of them recognized, came on and Roger offered Shay his hand. "May I have this dance?" he asked sweetly, looking down at her.

"What?" Shay asked, surprised. She had never fast-danced with a man in her life, not even Carter back in high school.

"Come on," Roger begged her, smiling teasingly at her.

Shay gave him a suspicious look, but she stood up anyway and followed him onto the dance floor, jigging her steps slightly as she walked. Roger grinned and turned to face her, as he took her right hand in his left.

Shay realized what he was going to do with her, only a few moments before he started. "Roger, wait." She knew what he was about to do. She looked up at him nervously. "I can't do this," she said shakily.

Roger ignored her playfully, feigning innocence. "Can't do what? We're gonna have to get a little closer," he said, and Shay knew he wasn't listening. "Like this." He gently pulled her closer to him, his left hand around her waist. "Now just go."

"What?"

"Come on, you're a former Kitty, aren't you?" he teased. "You should be a natural at this."

"Roger, I don't know the…" Shay began, but she was too late. A second later, he had taken her with him in a fast, slightly uncontrolled two-step.

"Neither do I, just go with it!" Roger told her.

Shay shrieked and laughed with delight, as Roger bounded her around the floor, and then he changed tactics. He took her by her hands and crossed his arms, and they spun around and around like little kids.

Shay stared at Roger, since he was the only thing she could focus on. Everyone and everything else was a blur. "Roger, no!" she said firmly, but he wasn't listening. Roger grinned at her and let out a gleeful yell. "Roger, _no_!" she repeated, more firmly, but he still wouldn't listen, so she just squeezed her eyes shut and screamed happily, hoping they wouldn't run into and kill anybody. Then he slowed to a stop and Shay collapsed against him, exhausted.

As they staggered back over to the table, Roger laughing as Shay glared at him, Shay growled, "You— you— I'm gonna kill you…"

But Roger merely laughed. He knew Shay couldn't see straight enough to even aim a punch at him. "Sit down, Baby," he said to her. "I'm gonna go get us something to drink."

"Fine," Shay said, her head spinning, and after she sent him another evil look, which she really didn't mean, he went to the bar. "Why the fuck does my head hurt so badly?" she asked Lena. "I haven't drunk a drop of alcohol."

"I don't know, sweetie," Lena said. "Are you maybe hungry? Do you need something to eat?"

"No, I'm not hungry. I'll be OK," Shay said, and she brushed it off as Roger brought over drinks for them.

"A Tom Collins for Tom Collins," Roger said, handing the drink to Collins.

"Ha, ha, you think you're funny, pretty boy," Collins said sarcastically, pointing a threatening finger at him.

Roger grinned. "Thanks, Collins, but I _just _don't like you like that." Collins burst out laughing and smacked him upside the head.

"Hey, don't abuse me so much," Roger joked, and he continued distributing the drinks. "A _final_ two draft beers for Miss Mo and Miss Jo," he said, and he gave Maureen and Joanne their beers.

"Cheers," they said drunkenly, and they each took drunken swallows each.

"A coffee for me," Roger said.

"Oh, God, _more _caffeine for you?" Shay teased, looking up at him.

Roger chose to ignore that remark. "And an apple juice for my lovely wife," he said.

"Thanks, Baby," Shay said, taking it from him and drinking deeply.

* * *

A little while later, Shay's head had stopped spinning so much, so she decided it was safe to drink more of her juice. Right after she had finished it, the band began to play a slow song. Shay recognized it as Frank Sinatra's "Just the Way You Look Tonight."

"I love this song," she said enthusiastically.

"Well, in that case," Roger said, as he finished his coffee and stood up. He offered his hand to her. "May I have this dance?"

"Of course," Shay said, and she went with him onto the dance floor. Couples that had been watching them act crazy and (in Maureen, Joanne, and Collins' case) drunk earlier, now watched with interest as Shay and Roger got close and gently swayed back and forth to the beat. Shay lay her head on Roger's chest, in that place she seemed to fit in just right, and Roger leaned his head down by hers, breathing softly and warmly onto her neck and in her ear, her body pressed against his, both of them truly in love with each other. Joanne was dancing with Maureen, her head resting on Maureen's shoulder, and Mark and Lena were dancing, embraced in a hug. Collins, although looking slightly nervous, was dancing with a guy none of them knew. Roger leaned down close to Shay, as he sang softly in her ear.

_Some day, when I'm awfully low,  
When the world is cold,  
I will feel a glow just thinking of you...  
And the way you look tonight_

Roger, however, physically noticed, this time, how Shay seemed to have slimmed down quite quickly, after only having given birth to Lily three months ago. He wanted to mention it to her, purely out of concern, but he didn't know how to bring it up. So he waited until the song was about to end, thinking throughout it how he could ask her about it, since he was concerned. When the song ended and they stopped dancing, Roger pulled away from her slightly.

"Thank you," she said quietly, looking up at him.

"Of course, Baby," he said automatically, and he suddenly felt bad because, for the first time in the nearly three years he'd now known Shay, he hadn't meant it with all his heart. But he tried to not let it bother him too much, as he took a deep breath. Feeling painful tension jolt through the center of his chest, where her head had been resting a moment ago, he looked down at her. "Shay?" he asked.

Shay looked up at him. "Yes?" she asked. They still had not gone off the dance floor.

Roger frowned slightly, still unsure as to how to voice his concerns. "It's just that… Well, I've noticed that you look thinner."

Shay looked surprised at him. "I do?" she asked.

"Well… yeah," Roger said hesitantly. "I'm not saying I don't like it, because I do like it, but…"

Shay looked confused. "What are you trying to say, Roger?" she asked. "Tell me the truth."

"Well, OK," Roger said, and he plunged on. "Are you sure it's, you know, safe for you to be so thin so soon? I mean, I know you're naturally thin and everything, but are you sure it's healthy for you to be so thin so quickly, after just having Lily? I mean, she's only three months old…"

"Oh, so that's what you're trying to say?" Shay asked, looking hurt. "That you don't like me being the way I was before Lily, only more so now? I don't want to be a size 13 forever, Rog." She looked suddenly upset, and tears appeared in her eyes. "I hated being big when I was pregnant with Noah, and I got my figure back because I had to keep up with him once he learned how to walk and run. I was stuck in bed half the time I was pregnant with Lily, because of my own stupid mistake. I want my figure back sooner than that this time, especially since I model. I modeled maternity clothes while I was pregnant. Do you know how mortifying that was for me, normally being in the small women's sizes?" She looked up at him.

"Baby, I love you no matter what size you are," Roger said, and he tried to pull her close to him, but she wouldn't let him touch her. Then she dropped the bombshell.

"Don't you want me to feel beautiful?"

Roger's eyes widened in shock, as he realized what she had asked him. He was stunned and stung by her words.

"Well, yes, but… Baby, how can you ask that? You know I think you're beautiful no matter what." He looked down at her. "I just want you to be healthy, whatever that means. Size 16 or size 8, you know?"

The tears spilled from Shay's eyes, and when Roger went to wipe them away, she pulled away from him. "No, please don't touch me," she said quietly. "Please understand. I'm scared."

Roger looked down at her, alarmed and concerned. "Scared of what, Shay?" he asked her seriously. He hated seeing her cry. It upset him badly, too. She looked so pretty when she cried. What confused him was, she had been so happy only a short time before.

But she wouldn't answer him. Instead, she took his hand away from her face and turned away from him. As she began to walk away from him, he called her name. "Shay," he said. "Shay, please wait. Don't make a scene." She picked up speed and he yelled after her this time. "SHAY!"

But she didn't look back. Roger turned to the others and looked at them helplessly. "What did I do?" he asked, knowing they had been watching the whole thing go down.

No one really knew what to tell him. But after a long, thought out moment, Lena spoke up. "Well, maybe she just needs a break," she said. "You know, some time to think it all over. You guys have been really busy these past few months. She's probably just worn out. They call it 'baby blues' for a reason."

"So what do I do?" Roger asked. "I have no idea where she's going or what I've done wrong. I don't want her to get hurt."

"We'll help you find her," Collins promised him. "She's our Baby girl, too."

Roger nodded. "Thanks, you guys," he said. "Well, come on, let's go, OK?"

The others nodded and followed him outside, after paying for their drinks. Roger saw Shay hadn't gone far. She was at the end of the block, about to cross the street. He called after her, but she didn't appear to hear him. Either that or she was ignoring him. She began to cross the street, when out of nowhere, a pickup full of teenagers came barreling around the corner and ran the stop sign.

The next moment was a blur. The screeching car tires, the bright headlights, and both Shay and Roger's horrified screams mingled together in the chaos. It seemed like everything was in slow motion as he ran toward the spot where the love of his life lay motionless on the pavement.

Ooh, cliffhanger. Dun dun dun. Wanna know what happens? Well, send some reviews this way, and I'll post the next chapter tomorrow, either in the afternoon or evening. I'm not sure when, and normally, whenever I promise that I'll update on a specific day, especially a specific time of day, I end up fibbing, LOL.

In order to keep any of you from killing me while you wait for me to update next, I'll give you more suspense: there will be a good surprise in the next chapter! I know, I know, you just HATE me right now, don't you? LOL. But I love you all so much, you know that!

Until next time, lots of love,

Renthead07


	17. Healing

As promised, here's chapter 17, and it's really long! Chapter 18 may not be up until tomorrow, or possibly a couple days from now.

Please pay attention to the important note about Deviant Beauty and future updates, which is on my profile.

Enjoy this chapter. I couldn't make you guys wait for long to find out Shay's fate.

The heart monitor echoed distantly in Roger's mind, as he sat in the folding chair by Shay's bed in Bellevue Medical Center. He hadn't let go of Shay's cold and seemingly-lifeless hand since she'd been stabilized and moved to a private room. There, he, Lena, and the Bohemians could finally see her.

Doctor Thornton had come in earlier and spoken to them. Shay was in a coma. Doctor Thornton, while uncertain when she was going to wake, had said she was confident she would before the twenty-four hour "safe period" was up. It didn't have to be voiced aloud that nobody was going to leave the room until she did.

Mark was leaning against the back wall, holding Lena close to him. She had been hit the hardest by the accident, it seemed; after all, Shay was her best friend, and had been since grade school. She hadn't been able to stop crying since the accident, although what had, at first, been her in hysterics, were now quiet sobs and constant flowing tears, all the while being held in Mark's loving grasp.

Mark hadn't shed a tear, trying to stay strong for Lena, but his expression was worried. Maureen and Joanne were clinging to each other desperately, tears rolling freely down their cheeks. Neither of them had said a word; but for the occasional sob they let out, they had been completely and utterly silent for nearly three hours now.

Collins, who was silently extremely worried, went over to them and wrapped his arms around them. This act of solemn comfort only caused them more tears, but he didn't let go. Joanne leaned against him when he persuaded them to sit down, even if it was only on the floor, and Maureen leaned against her for support. It was all they could do to keep from breaking down completely in front of Roger.

Roger was a completely different story. While he had cried more than his fair share of bitter, salty tears on the way to the hospital, even as they were waiting for the news and after, he was now completely blank and numb. His face was set, but Jordan had been trading off holding Lily with Dylan, because Roger's hands were shaking so badly, he could not really hold his own daughter.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of silence, Lena said something. "So… how do you think she's doing?"

They all looked at her, even Roger. "How can we tell?" Joanne asked. "The doctor said she's at that halfway point they always mention for comatose patients."

"But Doctor Thornton said she was confident she'd wake up," Roger said.

"Confident doesn't always mean correct, son," Dylan said softly.

Roger sighed and put his face in his hands. "But she _has _to wake up, Dad," he said, and he began to cry in frustration. "She just has to. We have a son and daughter to take care of together." He looked at his parents. Dylan was holding and gently rocking Lily at the moment, while Noah was curled up, asleep, in Jordan's lap. He was nearly too big for that now, Roger noticed.

Roger was glad the little boy had fallen into an exhausted sleep shortly after arriving at Bellevue with Dylan and Jordan. He had been very upset to hear that his mother had been in another accident. At least this way, he was in a world entirely his own, away from the pain, grief, and despair. Sleeping was his own way, Roger figured, of making the passage of time easier and lessening his stress.

"You're right, Roger, you do," Jordan said to him, "which is why she's gonna make it through, Roger. She loves her family. Nothing will ever change that… nothing."

"Those fuckers," Maureen said suddenly. Everyone looked at her, surprised at her words. She looked down. "Sorry. But how do they think they can do that to her? Those mother fuckers."

"Yeah," Roger said, glad to finally hear words that truly expressed how angry, hurt and upset he was feeling. "Especially when I hadn't yet told her…"

"Told her what, Roger?" Lena asked, lifting her head off Mark's chest to look at him.

Roger looked at them all. He couldn't tell who seemed the most interested at what he had been about to say. "I want to adopt Noah," he said.

Seven stunned faces met his. "Really?" Lena asked, her face alight. "Roger, that's great."

"Yeah," Roger said, smiling for the first time in hours, "I know. I've been meaning to tell her for a long time. But with us moving and Lil' Jo being born and now this… I just haven't had time. Now I realize that I should have _made _time for it. It was only five little words. Why couldn't I make time for five little words?"

Everyone nodded as Noah awoke right on cue, stretching and yawning in Jordan's lap and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. "Well, it's good that it's out in the open now," Dylan said. "Now it will be easier to tell her once she wakes up."

"Yeah, it will," Roger agreed. He looked at Noah. "Hey, buddy, how did you sleep?"

"Hi," Noah said, smiling at Roger. "I slept all right. Is Mommy awake yet?"

"No, not yet, kiddo," Roger said, shaking his head. "But she will, I promise."

"We just don't know when," Noah asked, "because of what happened, right?"

"That's right, my smart boy," Roger said, and he felt more tears burning the backs of his eyes. Noah was incredibly intelligent for not being quite four years old. Shay had done an amazing job raising him, giving him all she had, even though she had been so young at the time and it hadn't been the same as what society called 'normal'. "And hey, I have a surprise for you, anyway."

"What?" Noah asked eagerly. "Is it an early birthday present?"

Roger and the others laughed. "If you want it to be, then yes, it can be," Roger said, looking down at Noah. "As soon as your mom gets better, I'm gonna adopt you. Aunt Joanne's gonna help me with that, right, Jo?" Joanne nodded. He regarded Noah carefully. "Do you know what I mean by 'adopt', Noah?" Noah shook his head and Roger explained. "I'm gonna be your daddy for real, just like I'm Lily's daddy. You might not be my son by blood, but if I adopt you, it will be like the same."

Noah's face lit up happily. "Ooh, yay!" he squealed. "That's the best birthday present ever!"

Roger laughed; a real, true laugh this time. "I'm so glad you like it, buddy. I like it, too."

* * *

A few hours later, Roger and the others were close to exhaustion. It was nearly five in the morning. Jordan came over to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Roger," she said, "we should all really go home and try to get some rest. I know it'll be hard to leave Shay like this, but she's in the best of care here. Nothing is gonna happen to her if we go home and try to sleep, especially you, Noah, and Lily." She looked down at her son. "The doctor will call as soon as she knows anything more, good or bad."

Roger looked up wearily at his mother and he realized she was right. "OK, Mom," he said, "I'll go home. I guess we all should, right?" He hugged his mother and father and took Lily from Dylan, who had her at the moment. Roger placed her in her Snuggly on his chest, and although she stirred for a moment, she didn't wake. "I'll see you… well, tomorrow, I guess."

Jordan nodded. "We love you, Roger," she said.

"I love you, too, Mom, Dad," Roger said, and he watched his mother and father leave. Soon after, he, Lena, and the Bohemians followed suit.

* * *

The next morning, Roger was jolted awake by the phone ringing. After glancing up at the clock, which said 7:30 A.M., he rolled over and answered it on the third ring. Lily was crying in her bassinet next to his and Shay's bed, where she always slept. "Hello? Doctor Thornton? No, it's OK; I needed to get up anyway… Yeah, everything's fine, that's just Lily. She usually wakes up hungry at this time in the morning, don't worry. What's up? Is it Shay?" He paused for a moment, listening. Then his heart sped up with excitement. "Really, she is? OK, I'll be over as soon as I can. Thank you."

Roger hung up the phone and quickly got dressed. Then he took Lily out of her bassinet and went next door to Noah's room, carrying her close. "Hey, kiddo, wake up," he said, gently shaking Noah. Noah let out a sleep moan, but wouldn't budge. Roger frowned slightly, but persisted. "Come on, Noah, I know it's early, buddy, but you gotta get up. We're gonna go see Mommy today."

Noah opened his eyes and sat up. "We are?" he asked, sitting up. "Is Mommy awake?"

"The doctor says she almost is, buddy," Roger said, "so you quick get yourself dressed, while I get Lily dressed, and we'll eat some breakfast before we go see her, OK? You can even eat my cereal."

"OK," Noah said, smiling at the opportunity to finally be allowed to eat Roger's Cocoa Puffs. Shay normally didn't allow it. Roger went into Lily's nursery and got her dressed. The entire time, she wouldn't stop crying and barely cooperated. But when he put her into the Snuggly, she stopped crying, seeming comforted by being close to her father. Roger sighed with relief and looked up, silently giving thanks for the reprieve. Then he, Noah, and Lily got in Shay's car and left.

* * *

Roger walked quickly down the hall, with Lily in his arms and Noah by his side. Collins, Maureen, Joanne, Lena, and Mark were right behind him. He had called them when he had arrived to Bellevue, and it had only taken all of them a few minutes to show up. The orderly leading them down the hall stopped and turned to face them, upon reaching Shay's room. "You can go in," she said. "Not all of you at once, but a few of you can go in for now."

Roger looked at the Bohemians, wondering which of them should go first. "You go with Roger, Lena," Joanne spoke up, giving her a slight nudge. "You and Roger and they kids go tell her we love her, OK?"

Lena nodded and smiled. "Thanks, Jo," she said, and after giving Joanne a quick hug, she went in with Roger, Noah, and Lily.

Shay wasn't awake yet, but Roger went over and sat next to her bed anyway. Lena pulled up a chair and sat silently next to him. Noah stood next to Roger and put his hand on Roger's shoulder. Roger looked long and hard at her for a moment, and then he thought of something. In movies, doctors always said that it helped a comatose patient if you talked to them. So he thought for a moment about what to say, and began to speak.

"Shay, it's Roger," he began, and he squeezed her hand. "Lena, Noah, and Lily are here, too. Mark and the Bohos are out in the hall. Doctor Thornton said we couldn't all come in at once, or we'd 'overwhelm' you, but I know better. I know you would want to see us all at the same time, unless you were tired or sick or something. Doctor Thornton says you're finally waking up, Baby. You have no idea how happy that makes me. I'm so sorry for what I said. I really am. I had no right to ask that of you. To be honest, I'm not sure if talking to you about it was a good thing or not. I mean, you know I think you're beautiful, no matter what, Baby, but I want you to be healthy. I really do.

"And then those… those _teenagers_ had to hit you with their car like that." He closed his eyes for a moment in anger, trying to control himself, since Noah was beside him and Lily was in her Snuggly on his chest. Lena put a comforting hand on his tense shoulder. "The police will be here in a little while for me and the Bohos to talk to them about witnessing the accident, but the doctors wanted to wait for all that until they knew you were going to get better, in case it was a… well, never mind." He glanced at Lena, who nodded, knowing what he had been about to say. He had been about to say 'in case it was a manslaughter case.'

He squeezed Shay's hand fondly and his heart leapt when he felt her ever so slightly squeeze back. "Baby, did you just squeeze my hand?" he asked, confused. "Baby, if you can hear me, squeeze my hand again."

Then it happened again. It was slightly stronger this time. Roger's eyes widened. She really was waking up. "Shay, honey, open your eyes. Open those pretty green eyes and look at me, Baby."

He waited for several moments, and then Shay's eyes fluttered open. He heard Lena gasp with surprise beside him. "Hey," Shay whispered. "What happened?"

"You were in an accident," Roger said, caressing her hair, "but everything's OK now. Don't try to say anything else just yet, OK?"

Shay realized there were tears in his eyes. "You're crying," she said softly, alarmed by this.

Roger nodded. "Yeah, well," he said shakily, "for a while there, I thought you were…" His voice shook horribly and died and he closed his eyes to stop the tears from appearing.

Shay nodded. "I know," she said. Roger opened his eyes and looked at her again. "Hey, buddy," she added to Noah, smiling when she saw him.

"Hi, Mommy," Noah said, as Lena went out and got Doctor Thornton. Doctor Thornton came in and did a quick examination of Shay's vitals, and then backed away, satisfied. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm better, baby boy," Shay said. "My leg hurts, but other than that, I'm all right." Roger took Lily out of the Snuggly and gently set her on Shay's stomach. "How's my little girl doing?" She smiled as Roger leaned down and kissed her forehead.

Roger smiled. "She missed you, I can tell," he said. "But besides a lot of bruising and a broken leg, Doctor Thornton said you're gonna be fine, luckily. Now that you're out of the coma, there's nothing to do but get you back on your feet in the next couple of months. I'm gonna call Calvin Klein and tell them what happened, so don't you worry about going back to work for a while yet, OK?"

Shay nodded. "OK. I know you will," she said. She looked up at Roger. "Roger, I'm sorry. About what I said, it was uncalled for and I never should have said it. You were right."

Roger looked down at her, as she stroked Lily's silky hair. "It's OK," he said. "I knew it would probably upset you. Maybe I should have waited."

"No, I'm glad you brought it up," Shay said. "I've been making some really bad choices lately, but that's the main one. I shouldn't have started it and I was completely wrong to hide it for as long as I did, and I'm sorry. It won't happen again. I'll do better, I promise."

Roger nodded. "It's OK, Shay. I'm glad you realized your decision to do this was wrong, but I'm also glad that you're changing your ways and becoming healthier."

Shay smiled. "I'm glad I am, too," she said. She looked up at him. "I couldn't have done it, if not for you, you know. You saved me, Roger. Without you or Noah or Lily, I wouldn't have had anything to come back to. I wouldn't have made it."

Roger nodded. "I know," he said. "You just rest now, OK? I love you, Shay, remember that. Size 16 or size 6, I love you. I always will. 'In sickness and in health, 'till death, do us part', remember?" He placed Lily back in her Snuggly on his chest and stood up. He placed one hand on the top of Noah's head and gently stroked his head, and he rested the other around Lily, on the Snuggly.

Shay nodded. "I remember," she said, smiling up at him. "I love you, too, Roger. And I love you, my baby boy and my sweet girl."

Noah smiled and hugged his mother gently, careful to not put too much pressure on her bruises. Roger leaned down, Lily and the Snuggly and all, and kissed Shay. Shay kissed Lily's hands and Lily's nose fondly. The infant giggled and Shay smiled. Then, after Shay had a few short moments alone with Lena and Roger left with Noah and Lily, she drifted off to a peaceful sleep.

Again, please pay attention to the important note about Deviant Beauty and future updates. I will be gone for three weeks in July, of which I can't do anything about, nor would I. Before I leave for those three weeks (the note explains it all, really, so don't neglect reading it), I'll try to update at least a couple of chapters. But no promises, 'cause I usually end up breaking those, as you guys know fully well, LOL.

As always, don't forget to review. Reviews and other feedback are what gets these chapters up faster.

And of course, IDEAS are ALWAYS appreciated, as to what I should do in future chapters. Believe me, since Noah's adoption is going to be covered in the next chapter or so, after that, I'm pretty sure I'll hit a wall and WILL need help. So send those ideas on!! I'm available through reviews, PM's, and my Email is on my profile. Those of you readers who know me well know I'm not hard to get ahold of, LOL.

Oh, quick note to Birdhearted: I know I didn't explain it well before, but now you know that Shay is negative! Lily being negative or positive will come later, but you can bet that I won't disappoint, so rest assured. Really, you can; at least, for a while...

Quick note, also, to Rosablasifann08: I'll Email you my review for "Without You" as soon as I can. I've been way too busy lately to even think about typing it up yet, LOL! Oh, hey, maybe you could take a copy with you when you go to NYC for your birthday, and have him read it then, if you meet him? Meeting him for more than a few seconds, long enough for him to read it, is probably pretty unlikely, but it could happen! We'll talk about that theory soon, and definitely before I leave for three weeks. I hate not being able to beta for you when I'm gone, but I have to leave, LOL! Do you think chapter five of APOMH could wait until I get back from there, if you don't have it completed before I leave? Again, we'll talk about those two things soon.

Sorry this A/N is so long. I guess I had a LOT to say in the end! But that doesn't really surprise any of you, does it? LOL.

Until next time, lots of love,

Renthead07


	18. A Family and a Future

I updated! Yay! I'm not sure how this came to me, but it did tonight, while I was reading a bunch of other Rent stories. I guess they gave me inspiration. It's pretty long, too. I was thinking about having the legal guardianship rejected at first, because of Roger's HIV, and then him blowing up at the loft or something. But since it didn't seem like just his HIV could likely cause his request to be rejected, I decided against that. Read on to find out what really happened. Oh, and see if you can figure out what might happen with Mark and Lena in the near future!

"I can't do this," Shay said wearily, as she struggled to cross the room on her good leg, clinging to the bar for support. It had been almost six weeks since her accident, and she was nearly finished with her first therapy session, after getting the cast removed.

Roger, who was standing beside her, squeezed her hand encouragingly. "It's just twenty feet, to the other side of the room, Shay. One more time today and you'll be done."

"But Roger, it hurts," Shay cried out, as she tried to put weight on her leg, and it only shook and ached painfully from disuse.

"I know, Baby, I know," Roger said soothingly. "Just one more time, for me, OK; if not for me, for Noah or Lily, OK? You gotta get better for them; not just your leg, but, uh, other things as well," he added, slightly uncomfortably.

Shay nodded and took a few steps. "Good. Good, Shay," her therapist, Katie, said, standing nearby, watching. "You're doing great."

"So why does it hurt so damn much?" Shay growled, and then she looked down. "I'm sorry, Katie, I didn't mean it."

"I know you didn't," Katie said, and she went over to get a wheelchair. "All right, I think you've done enough for today. It may not look like much, but it'll add up. Any progress is progress."

"She's right, Shay," Roger said. "It's just a few steps, but soon, you'll be walking across the room with no problem, and then you can go anywhere you want."

Shay nodded. "OK, I'm not gonna argue with quitting for the day, though," she said, and she collapsed into the wheelchair. "Noah and Lily are at the Loft, right?"

"Right," Roger said. "Mark and Lena are looking after them while we're out. You can guess how much Lena likes that."

Shay sighed. "She really wants a baby, doesn't she?" she asked. "How come I didn't see it before?"

"Well, maybe she doesn't want anyone asking questions until she and Mark are really ready," Roger said. "And maybe they're trying and just aren't telling us yet. I don't know, Baby. In case it's a sore subject, let's not mention it, OK?"

Shay nodded. "OK," she said. "I'm ready to go home, if you are."

Roger nodded as well. "Yeah, I am," he said.

* * *

"So how did your therapy session go?" Lena asked, bouncing five-month old Lily on her knee.

"It was OK," Shay said, sinking wearily into a chair. She was glad to be home again. "I feel really weak, though. Not only now that I'm done, but all the time."

"Yeah, well, that's a side effect from the coma, Doctor Thornton said," Roger said. "He said that, as long as you continue your therapy sessions for a few months and exercise and _eat right_, you'll regain your strength eventually.And you were lucky to get out of the hospital when you did, as it is, Shay, being fifteen pounds underweight at the time. Mimi was ten pounds underweight and she barely functioned. But with all that's been going on lately, even as you're getting better, Shay, you still never cease to amaze me, Baby. You're strong and confident and you never pass up or run away from a challenge."

Shay looked up at him, giving him a slightly suspicious look. "No, I guess I don't, do I?" she said, smiling at him. "Can we go lie down for a while? I'm exhausted."

"Sure," Roger said. He looked at Lena, about to open his mouth and ask her if it was OK if she stayed for a while longer.

"It's fine," Lena assured him, smiling.

"OK," Roger said, grinning. "I don't know how long we'll be, though. She's pretty tired and I've got… stuff I want to talk to her about."

Lena nodded. "OK," she said. "Go ahead, knock yourselves out."

Roger chuckled. "Thanks, Lena," he said, and he went into the bedroom with Shay.

"I'm sorry, Roger," she said, as they lay on the bed together.

"Sorry for what, Baby?" Roger asked her, looking down at her from where he was propped up onto his elbow.

"For starving myself to get thin again," she said. "It was a stupid mistake and I'm paying for it. It's so hard for me to get back into eating normally again, you know? I did the Cat Scratch for almost three years, and that required me to be thin… it just seems like my life's an ongoing battle these days. And I know Noah sees right through me. I can try to hide it, but he can tell I'm doing something bad, even if he doesn't know what it is."

"Baby, Noah loves you," Roger said, "just like I do. He still doesn't understand what happened to you, but he's a smart boy. He knows you were hurting and scared, and then you had the accident, and now you're getting better again. He's such a good boy. We couldn't ask for a better child. And Lily is the most amazing five-month-old in the world. She's hardly ever upset and is such a happy little girl. What have you got to be sorry for? You gave me two wonderful children, right after I thought my life was gonna end, you know that?"

Shay nodded. "I know," she said. "I'm just regretting my decisions. I know Mimi would kick my ass if she knew I was, but…"

"Shay, as long as you gain enough weight to where you're healthy again, then Mimi won't do anything from up there to try to kick your ass down here," Roger said. "You've sacrificed so much in the past couple of years to raise your little boy as best as you could, and when he's older, he'll thank you for that. If he doesn't, I'll make sure he does. What else are you regretting? Talk to me, Baby."

"I think that's all," she said. "I just want my kids to have the best life they can, you know? I mean, I know I'll be around long after I lose you, and…"

"Baby, you're not gonna lose me for a long time," Roger assured her, leaning down and kissing her. "I'm on good meds now and my viral load is undetectable. It has been since I met you, my doctor said. You and the kids are making my life worth living. Every one of the Bohos will tell you that." He smiled at her. "To make you feel better, I have something to tell you."

"What?" Shay asked.

"Tomorrow, we're gonna go to Joanne and ask her for adoption papers."

Shay looked up at him. Her mouth slowly opened as she realized what he was saying. "Adoption papers? You mean for…?" Roger nodded. "Oh, Roger, you're gonna adopt Noah? Legally? Really?" Roger nodded again. Shay embraced him in a hug. "Oh, Roger, that's wonderful. Thank you so much. I'm sure he'll be so excited."

"Actually, he already knows," Roger said. "When you were in the hospital, before you woke up, I told him. I couldn't hide it anymore. I mean, I wasn't hiding it, but… you know what I mean? I wanted to tell you for ages."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Shay said, and she pulled him closer to her. "Roger, thank you. Thank you so much. You're giving Noah what he never really had: a father."

"Well, he's the best little boy a man could ask for, so when Carter said he didn't want anything to do with him, he didn't know what he would miss," Roger said. Shay sighed and sat up, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. Roger looked at her, concerned. "I'm sorry, Baby. I shouldn't have brought him up. You were so happy a second ago."

"No, it's OK," Shay said. "It's just, well, I've been thinking. Noah's gonna want to see Carter when he gets older. I don't know when, but he will, I just know it. And I don't want Carter to see him."

"Well, how can you be sure?" Roger asked. "I mean, you, me, and the Bohos are really the only family he's known."

Shay shrugged. "I don't know," she said. "I just keep thinking about it, that's all."

"Well, don't think about it so much," Roger said, smiling at her and kissing her forehead. "Just take things as they come, OK?"

"OK," Shay said, and she lay back down with him. Roger stroked her hair with his fingers, breathing softly onto her neck. She inhaled his sweet scent deeply and closed her eyes, relaxing against his strong frame.

Shay didn't realize they had fallen asleep until she was jolted awake by someone pounding on their door. "Hey, lovebirds, get out here!" a voice yelled. "Lena and I have better things to do than just sit around here, you know!"

Shay looked up at Roger. "Oh boy, he sounds serious," she said.

Roger, however, didn't move. He simply lay there with his eyes closed; but he was grinning, so Shay knew he was awake. "Either that, or he wants something. Something we don't have. Let's screw with him a little while longer," he said.

"But Roger, Lena's out there," Shay said. "She won't come in here, but I know Mark will."

"So? It's not like we're having sex," Roger said. In a soft, seductive voice, he added, "Although we could." Shay smacked him, laughing, and he grinned evilly. "Let Mark come in, if he must. We've got nothing to hide. I'm just laying here with my girl."

Shay rolled her eyes. "No, I wanna get up," she said, and she swung her legs out of bed.

"OK, OK," Roger mumbled, and he got up reluctantly with her. "Mark, what do you want?" he asked, as they went out into the living room where Mark and Lena were.

"Lena and I wanna go home, Rog," Mark said. "Besides, we're finishing moving her stuff into the loft tonight. What were you two doing in there for so long?"

"We were just talking and then we, uh, kinda fell asleep," Roger said.

"Uh huh, yeah, sure," Mark said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"We were!" Roger said. "It was important stuff."

"Like what?" Mark asked.

"Quit being nosy," Roger said, although he was teasing. "But since you asked, we were talking about Noah's adoption. We're going to Joanne tomorrow to submit applications and get the papers and stuff."

Mark smiled. "I'm glad," he said. "I hope that goes well for you two."

"So do I," Roger said, and he took Lily from Lena. "OK, OK, you can go home if you want. Thanks for watching these two for us."

"It was no problem, Roger," Lena said, smiling at him and Shay. "See you guys, um, tomorrow, I guess?"

Shay nodded. "In a couple days, we can all go to the Life Café and celebrate, if things go over well, OK?" she asked.

"OK," Lena said, smiling at Shay. She gave Shay a hug. "Good luck with that. You two deserve it."

Shay smiled appreciatively. "Thanks, Lena," she said, and Lena and Mark left. Shay turned to Roger, her hands on her hips. "Now, what do you suppose they would want to do, that they ditched us so quickly? I mean, besides move her in…"

Roger grinned evilly again. "I guess we'll find out, won't we?" he asked.

Shay laughed as he took her into his arms. "Yeah, I guess," she said. "Man, I hate surprises."

"Do you?" Roger asked, looking down at her. "Or are you just impatient?"

Shay smiled. "I guess that's it," she said. "Just how well do you know me, Roger Davis?"

Roger smirked. "Pretty well, I think," he said. He feigned thinking about it and Shay smacked him playfully, as Lily started to cry. "But hey, I think we should feed them, don't you? And you need to eat something, too." He gave her a serious look.

"Yeah, of course," Shay said, smiling up at him, and they went into the kitchen.

* * *

"Hi, guys," Joanne said, smiling at Shay and Roger, as they walked into her office the next morning. "So are you ready to do this?"

"More than ready, Jo," Roger said, smiling at her. "You know I've been dying to do it for months now."

Joanne nodded. "I know," she said, smiling at Roger. "All right, so what we're gonna do is, we have to find someone to represent Noah— another attorney."

"OK, so how do we do that?" Shay asked nervously.

"I've got it all worked out," Joanne said, making a calm-down gesture to her. "My co-worker, Madeline Saunders, will represent Noah, OK?" Roger and Shay nodded. Shay held Roger's hand nervously. "So, once we submit your request to adopt Noah, Roger, she will survey your home life with Noah— and Lily, too, of course— for a few weeks, to make sure you're creditable to adopt Noah. Until then, he is still under Shay's sole custody."

Roger nodded. "I understand. Then what?"

"Then, once the attorney designated to represent Noah— Madeline, in this case— is satisfied, she'll tell me, because I'm representing you and Shay, and we'll get word, good or bad, from the Bohos, and if the word is good and Madeline is satisfied with the home environment, your request will most likely go through and you'll be granted legal guardianship of Noah." Joanne looked at them. "Now, as your lawyer, I say this will take a few weeks and that you have to realize it may be difficult, with you being positive, Roger." Roger nodded and bit his lip nervously. Joanne smiled encouragingly. "But as your friend, I say the few weeks will be worth it, because you know Maureen's word is as good as Collins', Mark's, and Lena's combined."

Roger and Shay laughed. "Yeah, we know," Shay said, and they stood up and shook Joanne's hand. "Thanks so much for doing this, Joanne. We appreciate it immensely."

"It was my pleasure," Joanne said. "OK, in that case, I'm gonna get a quick word in with Madeline, and as soon as she's ready to survey your home, I'll give you a call. I should be calling by tomorrow morning."

"Thanks, Jo," Shay said, smiling at her.

"You're welcome, Shay. See you tonight," Joanne said, smiling back at her, and Shay and Roger left.

* * *

"Can you believe we're on our way to having a family for real, Baby?" Roger asked, looking down at her as they walked down the hall to the door.

"I know, it's surreal," Shay said. "But what about you being positive, Rog? What about the others being positive? You know, Collins? Can they accept that? I mean, especially with you and Collins… dying someday? I mean, I'll still be around, but…"

"I don't know, Baby," Roger said, putting his hand around her waist. "I'm sure, with all the good word the Bohos will put in for us, it'll be OK. Madeline will see that you are the best damn mother in this world."

"And I hope she sees that you are the best father Noah could have," Shay said, looking up at him.

"I try, Baby," Roger said. "I try."

* * *

A couple weeks later, Roger and Shay were having breakfast in the Life Café with Lily and Noah, Madeline having completed the study of their home life the day before, when Joanne came rushing into the café.

"You guys," she said, rushing up to them, "you're never gonna believe Madeline just told me!"

Shay looked up, surprised at the normally-laid-back lawyer's eagerness. "What, Jo?" she asked nervously. "Is it about the adoption?"

"Yes!" Joanne exclaimed excitedly, and she sat down beside Shay. "I talked to Madeline a few minutes ago, and asked her what she thought of you guys, and whether you were credible to adopt Noah, Roger. She said that she thought your home life looked wonderful, and since the kids are both so happy with you, she can overlook Roger's HIV, since she knows there will be plenty of people to help Shay care for Noah and Lily once you're… well, gone, you know… and he's on good meds and his viral load is low… and she said that the Bohos' vouching for you has been the most positive she's seen in years, and she approves! I've got the papers with me right now!"

Roger and Shay were somewhat stunned; partly by Joanne's sudden outgoing personality and partly by the adoption going through. "OK, Jo, calm down," Shay said, putting a hand on Joanne's shoulder. But by the look on her face, Roger could tell she was hardly daring to believe what she was hearing. "So you're saying Madeline approved of Roger obtaining legal guardianship of Noah?"

"Yes," Joanne said, and she finally took a deep breath.

Shay's eyebrows shot up and she let out a shriek of happiness, sat back down and leaned over to kiss Roger. "Did you hear that, Baby?" she asked, taking his head in her hands and kissing him again. "Noah's gonna be our son for real!"

Roger smiled happily, tears in his eyes. "I like the sound of that," he said. He looked at Joanne. "Did you hear that, buddy?" he added to Noah. "I'm gonna be your daddy for real."

Noah smiled. "I'm glad, Roger," he said. "So do I have to call you Daddy now?"

Roger smiled again. "If you want, kiddo; do you?"

"Yes."

"Then, of course you can," Roger said, smiling down at him. Noah beamed.

"So what do we have to do now?" Shay asked, looking over at Joanne.

"All you have to do is sign," Joanne said, and she dug a pen out of her purse. "The papers should be processed and finalized within the week."

Roger and Shay beamed at her, tears in their eyes. After they signed the papers, Shay got up and gave Joanne a hug. "Thank you so much, Jo," she said. "You've given us a family for real. How can we ever thank you?"

"It was my pleasure, Shay," Joanne said, smiling at the happy couple.

OK, so now I've gotten past my block. Thank you, Rosablasifann08; somehow, just corresponding with you inspired me. I don't know how, LOL. I'm gonna give you guys a slight idea of what I've got planned for next. Sorry to say it, but the ideas, as of this point, are really tragic and I can't change that. I've had the idea in my head for months before I even wrote Deviant Beauty— I had the idea for what I COULD put in next, in my head way back when I wrote Roger's Next Step! But I didn't put it in then!

However, I do need a general opinion of what I should do with Deviant Beauty from here on out. I could end it right here. I really could. It's such a feel-good ending, you know? But then I'd have to put the tragic stuff at the beginning of the sequel. Do you really want that?

I'm not even sure I want to make a sequel. I know my life is gonna be absolutely CRAZY for the next five or so weeks, so if I do even think up a sequel, it will not be beginning to be posted until August. Sorry, but it's true. Does there HAVE to be a sequel, though? Honestly, does there?

But, oh, wait! I have to continue Mark and Lena's relationship and at least give you guys SOMETHING from them (marriage, kids, whatever I can think of), so I guess I'm stuck with at least writing a short sequel, eh? Besides, I said I had put in Mark/Lena foreshadow, right? I don't want it to be rushed, though, time lapse-wise. What to do??

So, until I get opinions on whether or not I should continue this or end it, I will not be updating again. Let me know, OK? Either leave what you think in a review or PM or Email me. But make sure to get your opinions in before next Wednesday, or I will not get them until July 20th at the earliest!! And I know you guys don't want to wait that long for another update of whatever kind!! My author note on my profile for Deviant Beauty has also been altered a bit, so that you guys get the low-down of when I'm gonna be gone and back and not get confused. Make sure to pay attention to that!

As always, don't forget to review.

Until next time, lots of love,

Renthead07


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